


Notting Hill

by Bat_and_Breakfast



Category: Holby City
Genre: (there's even a tag for that!), Alternate Universe - Notting Hill Fusion, Alternative Universe - Movie Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon is highly overrated, Currently on hold while I get back on my feet healthwise, Elinor Campbell does not exist, F/F, Movie AU, because we could probably all do with some lightheartedness, but not too bad and not for too long, it's nothing personal, nobody dies in this one, so i wrote a romcom, sorry for that, this WILL be finished!!, well it might get a bit angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-09-26 10:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20388052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bat_and_Breakfast/pseuds/Bat_and_Breakfast
Summary: When famous actress Berenice Wolfe spontaneously decides to buy a book in a small Notting Hill bookshop, she probably wouldn’t have guessed that this might change her life forever. Being the owner of said small bookshop, Serena Campbell, who lives a quiet life in company of her nephew and a few selected friends, is a bit starstruck by having a celebrity visiting her shop. Nevertheless she doesn’t put too much weight on this chance encounter. Little do they both know that they will… run into each other again - which will lead to the ultimate question: Can love overcome such different lifestyles?





	1. Running up that Hill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there... :)
> 
> First of all: Thanks a lot to @ukulelefoot for betaing this - you are the bees knees for reading and rereading this, getting me to add parts and cut parts, changing my occasional AmE to the intended BrE, wrangling my spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and those pesky speech marks my computer seems to change all the time to torture both of us. I wouldn't have come this far without help! (All errors you might still find are mine and mine alone... I'm a non-native speaker after all.)
> 
> Also thanks to @tebarambles for letting _me_ ramble on and on and on about this story.
> 
> It's another movie au and I guess that most people will have actually seen the movie this time. ^^ I hope you enjoy this... 
> 
> A big part of the fic is already written and betaed, so to everyone who is a bit wary about WIPs: Rest assured that I'll be able to keep up a weekly posting schedule.

It’s almost half past six in the evening and Serena Campbell is in a hurry. Which is a bit of a pity, because while she is almost running up on Portobello Road - as much as her kitten heeled shoes allow her to run - she misses many of her favourite sights of her favourite London neighbourhood. Clutching a takeaway bag from The Fish House, she doesn’t take note of the remaining fruit vendors closing up their stands, their last discarded pieces of exotic and local fruits and vegs carelessly swept to the side of the street. She almost collides with a young woman coming out of a hairdresser’s, which results in Serena mumbling a few choice words instead of her complimenting the other woman for her brave decision on bright blue hair, as she normally might have done. Luckily, she manages to dodge the guy coming out of the tattoo parlour without even slowing down. He looks a bit dazed, but right now she just can’t care.

Well, at least it isn’t the weekend, she thinks. Weekends are pure madness around Portobello Road. Masses of almost frantic tourists crowd the shops, stalls and street, always on the lookout for some genuine antiques… or some tacky bric-a-brac made in China, because who has got the money for antiques nowadays? They flock to Alice’s to have their pictures taken while wielding Paddington bears. They queue up in Serena’s favourite coffee shop, making it almost impossible for her to get her much-needed shot of caffeine in a reasonable amount of time. Although, if it was the weekend, she wouldn’t have to run home right now, because it wouldn’t be fish and chips night. With a sigh she finally comes to a standstill in front of a brightly-painted blue door, her door, leading into the house she shares with her nephew, Jason. The moment she steps inside, said nephew appears in front of her.

“You’re late, Auntie Serena,” he says reproachfully. “Dinner should have been ready at half past seven, so we can be finished and start to watch Countdown without hurrying through our meal. You know that I like us to be on time.”

“I’m sorry, dear. I had a late customer at the shop. Wouldn’t leave and in the end he didn’t even buy anything. Then the chip shop was chock full of people, so I had to wait.”

“Well, you just have to make better plans, Auntie Serena.”

“Will do, Jason, will do. Did you lay the table? I’ve got you an extra large gherkin and a pickled egg as an apology.”

And with this, Serena and Jason’s normal evening routine begins , consisting of dinner - accompanied by Jason chatting away about his latest interests - then settling in front of the tv for a steady stream of quiz shows and documentaries until it’s time to go to bed. It’s definitely not a glamorous life, but Serena is quite content with the way it is for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the introduction! I’ll move straight on to the second chapter due to this one being quite short. :)


	2. Funny, you've got a lot of books here....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being fairly set in her life and its routines, Serena expects nothing else than a normal day at her book shop, hopefully with enough paying customers to keep her afloat. Little does she know that her day will be disturbed not only by one, but by two unusual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter being a bit on the short side, I decided to post the second one, too.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

The next morning finds Serena in a bit of a glum mood while on her way to work. Her thoughts are already fixed on this months sales figures. Which, quite frankly, are sad and insufficient. When she opened her travel bookshop right here on Portobello Road a few years ago, she figured that a lot of tourists might also like to buy a lot of travel books. But obviously they either bought their books at home or on bloody Amazon. Still juggling the numbers in her head, she almost didn’t notice Morven, her sole employee, waiting for her at the side of the shop.

“Good Morning, Serena.” The young woman greets her with a smile.

Despite her mood, Serena can’t help herself and smiles back. “Good morning to you, too! Let’s go and get ready for another day, shall we?”

“Ready to go if you are!” Morven says enthusiastically.

They enter the small shop, slightly chaotic as ever, bookshelves everywhere, arranged to give way to little, almost secret, nooks and crannies, filled with even more books to explore. While Morven stays at the front of the shop, handling the till and their latest online orders, Serena goes back into her office to take a good look at the sales figures. After about an hour she throws her pen down with a groan and drops her head onto her desk in frustration.

“Is everything all right, Serena?” Morven asks from where she’s leaning against the door frame, a concerned look on her face.

“It seems like our latest major sales push resulted in… a net income of £284.” Serena stares at the figures on the notepad in front of her, but obviously nothing changes just by being stared at.

“How about I go and get you a coffee? Something strong and hot to ease your mind. Maybe there’s a miscalculation somewhere and the caffeine will help you find it?” Morven asks, giving Serena a fond smile.

“Oh, yes please. But just a small one, because I can’t afford the extra shot.” Serena picks up her notepad and accompanies Morven to the till.

Morven laughs, shakes her head and dashes out of the door, leaving it open for a woman entering the shop. Serena doesn’t notice her right away, her mind still fixed on the unbending sales figures. The woman doesn’t ask for help and starts to browse the shelves, her back turned towards the till.

Serena finally notices her and smiles. “May I help you?” The other woman turns towards her and it takes all of Serena’s customer service skills to keep her face straight. Her potential customer is blonde and lithe and beautiful, her face partially masked by a pair of sunglasses, her hair artfully mussed, her clothing - probably tailored - fits her like a glove. Serena thinks that she recognizes her, someone famous is in her little shop, but right now she feels so dazzled, she can’t remember her name.

“No, thanks. I’ll just have a look around.” She smiles at Serena and continues to browse the shelf. Serena finds herself unable to stop watching her. The blonde pulls an impressively sized coffee table book out of the shelf and starts browsing through it.

“I’d reconsider buying that one.” Serena can’t help herself and with a small noise marking her disdain at the blonde’s decision, she pipes up.

“Would you?” The woman looks up from the book and considers Serena with a raised eyebrow. 

“Well, in my opinion, it is actually helpful if the author has been to the country they’re writing about. If you want to know more about Italy, you might want to try this one. Serena grabs a small book from the side of the till. “Not only has the author spent a huge amount of time in Italy, but she’s also very amusing. You know, there’s this incident with a sfogliatelle in Naples, that’s…” but before she has the chance to finish her sentence, Serena notices movement on the small monitor showing the back of the shop. She stops and harrumphs at the monitor. “Are you kidding me?”

“Excuse me?” the blonde, still holding the illustrated book, looks slightly taken aback.

“Not you, definitely not you. Would you please excuse me for a minute? I’ll be right back.” Serena takes a few quick steps towards the back of the shop, where she almost collides with a scruffy looking young man coming out of a secluded section between the bookshelves.

“Excuse me,” she addresses him, her disdain clearly audibly in just those two words.

“Um… yes?“ The man looks at her, obviously trying to figure out where this encounter is heading.

“Bad news.“ She crosses her arms and shoots him a look that made better men than him quiver in their shoes before.

“What?“ He tries to sidle around her, but she won’t let him.

“CCTV. Right around the corner. Right… behind you.“ Serena tells him with a sickly sweet smile, pointing to the corner of the shop. 

“Umm…“ The man turns and looks up at the ceiling, clearly noticing the camera now. He swallows and turns back towards Serena, looking around the shop for help that isn’t going to come. The blonde, although clearly following the incident playing out in front of her, ignores him and keeps her eyes trained on the book in her hands instead.

“Look, I saw you put that book down your trousers,“ Serena sighs. There clearly are better ways to spend her time than this.

“What book?“

“Blimey, the one down your trousers!“ Her patience starts to wear thin and she raises her voice at the guy.

“I haven’t got a book down my trousers,“ he insists, even though the evidence is clearly against him.

“Right…“ Serena shakes her head, the fingers of her right hand rubbing the bridge of her nose. She will be damned before she’s going to go rooting around in people’s trousers for stolen goods. “Well, then we clearly have something of an impasse. How about I call the police? We’ll wait for them and if I am wrong about the whole book-down-your-trousers-scenario… what can I say? I’ll apologise to you and I’ll even give you a voucher.“

Mentioning getting the police involved makes the guy shuffle his feet. “Okay… what about… if I did have a book down my trousers, but don’t want the filth involved?“ 

“Well, ideally, I’ll go back to the till and you’ll go back around the corner for decency’s sake and you’ll remove the Rough Guide to Bali from your trousers. You’ll either wipe it very carefully and put it back on its shelf or you’ll come to the till and buy it. See you in a sec.“ And with this, Serena turns her back on the guy and returns to her other customer, who now has another book in her hand.

The woman, who clearly hasn’t missed a single word, shoots her a smile.

“I’m sorry about that…“ Serena nods towards the back of the shop.

“Don’t be. It’s fine. I actually thought about stealing this one myself, but now I’ve changed my mind. You are quite stern.“ She gestures with the blue book in her hand. “It’s signed by the author, I thought it might be worth stealing.“

“Well, we did our best to stop him, but couldn’t. If you find an unsigned copy, that will be the one worth a fortune.“ Serena smiles at her, while keeping an eye on the monitor to observe the would-be-thief putting the book back onto the shelf. He drifts back to the front of the shop, clearly relieved to have come off relatively unscathed, but stops in front off the blonde instead of leaving the shop as fast as he can.

“Excuse me?“

The blonde looks at him, knows what’s coming and braces herself. “Yes?“

“Can I have your autograph?“ he mumbles, gazing at her from under his wild mop of hair. Serena perks up at his question, because even though she was almost sure herself, his reaction clearly indicates that her customer is famous.

“What’s your name?“

“Thomas,“ he says and hands her a scruffy piece of paper and a pen he conjured from the pockets of his jacket.

The blonde takes them, scribbles something onto the paper, and hands both pen and paper back to him. He looks at it inquiringly.

“What does it say?“

“Well, that at the end is my signature… and above that, it says, ‘Dear Thomas, don’t go around stealing books, that’s a crime.’”

“Ha… nice one.“ He smiles at the paper and then looks at the woman. “Do you want my phone number?“

Serena thinks that the blonde - whose name, she now remembers, is Berenice Wolfe- is a very good actress. Very good, indeed. Must be, because there is no indication of her real feelings about this ridiculous question. Instead she just looks… aloof.

“Thanks, but I have to decline.“ she simply answers, whereas Serena would probably have taken the offensive question as an invitation to hurl one of the heftier books at the young man’s head.

Clutching the piece of paper in his hand, Thomas nods at both of them and sidles out of the shop.

“I think I’ll take this one.“ Berenice Wolfe hands Serena the book she advised against and her credit card.

“Oh, alright. Well, it’s a classic. Not that bad on second thoughts. None of those childish food stories, you get in almost every other book nowadays. And I’ll even throw in this one for free.“ Serena takes the signed blue book and puts it in a bag with the other one. “Very useful to light a fire with or wrap up some vegetable peels after preparing shepherd's pie.“

The blonde mouth quirkes in an amused smile. “Thanks.“

“My pleasure.“ Serena says, wonders if she could or should say more, but the other woman is already on her way out of the shop. Serena feels a bit dazed and leans against the till, watches the blonde until she can’t anymore. “Berenice Wolfe. In my shop. World famous actress Berenice bloody Wolfe just bought a book in my shop.“ Maybe Serena will believe herself if she repeats this often enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like this so far? Kudos and comments are highly appreciated!


	3. Oranges Can Be The Most Staining Fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've left Serena standing at the till last week, still a bit starstruck after meeting famous actress Berenice Wolfe as an unexpected customer at her shop. (A completely overrated book she bought, to top it all!) Maybe something hot and strong will help to take Serena's mind of blonde hair and exquisite collarbones?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back again!

Seconds later, Morven comes back into the shop, carrying a tray with two disposable coffee cups.

“Sorry it took me so long, they were super busy. How has it been? Did I miss anything?“

For reasons unknown, Serena doesn’t want to talk about Berenice Wolfe visiting the shop. Morven would probably squeal and make her describe every detail of the whole encounter and she doesn’t feel up to that, wants to keep this little story just for herself, herself and Berenice and… well, Thomas, but the chances he’ll drop by at the shop again anytime soon are slim. She just stands at the till, listens to Morven’s chatter and sips her coffee. Having drunk her coffee, surely strong but not hot at all due to circumstances, she suddenly feels restless, Thinks that a quick walk and another shot of caffeine might do her good.

“Do you want another one?“ she asks Morven.

“Well, sure, yes! Oh, no wait, make it an orange juice.“

“Orange juice for you and another coffee for me. I’ll be right back.“ Serena smiles and leaves the shop to make her way to the coffee shop on the corner.

It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining and London is bustling in anticipation of spring finally settling in. Having drunk an espresso right at the shop to keep it hot, Serena leaves with Morven’s juice in hand and rounds the corner only to painfully collide with someone. The juice drenches both of them and they barely manage to avoid falling down.

“Jesus!“ Serena hears Berenice Wolfe exclaim. They look at each other - the blonde clearly taken aback by being soaked in juice, Serena’s eyes wide due to the sight in front of her.

“Goodness, I’m so, so sorry! Here, let me help.“ Serena starts to dab at the blonde with a handful of paper napkins she fishes out of her pocket, unintentionally patting down her breasts.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?“ The blonde is clearly stressed now and takes a step back to escape Serena’s hands.

Serena almost jumps back. “Nothing, well, not the right thing, obviously, sorry. Look, I live just over the street. You could get cleaned up and…“

“No, thank you. I’ll just call my car to pick me up.“

“Well, you could use the bathroom to get cleaned up and then call someone to pick you up, you’re more than welcome to wait for them at my house.“

Berenice Wolfe gives her a look and decides that the other woman might not be the crazy, juice wielding maniac she first thought her to be, but just someone who is almost as distressed by their situation as she is.

“What do you mean by ‘just over there’?“ she asks, trying to compose herself.

Serena points over the street. “About eighteen yards. The one with the blue door. That’s my house.“

Bernie, because this is what her friends and family call her, turns towards the place Serena gestured at. If this isn’t a ruse, the other woman’s house really is right across the street. She sighs and gives her a curt nod.

“Ok, let’s go.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming back to the movie au nobody asked me for! :) Due to the fact that this is hardly more than a drabble, I persuaded myself to add another chapter today. 500 word hardly seemed worth the wait. Unfortunately posting two chapters at once won't become a habit. Sorry. ;)
> 
> Again: Thanks to @ukulelefoot for betaing this - all remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone. There will be small insights into Bernie's pov from time to time... I know that this is unusual and should be avoided, but this is just the way I write (for now).


	4. Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two orange juice drenched women make their way to the house with the blue door. What will await them? Crusted plates in the sink? Discarded clothing on the bathroom floor? Apricots in honey? All we know by now is that Welsh roommates are out of the picture in this one... (Although I love Rhys Ifans in the movie!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter for today! :) Enjoy...

The house is practically sparkling and Serena is suddenly extremely grateful for Jason’s need to keep everything clean and in order. Imagine inviting Berenice Wolfe into a house with dirty dishes cluttering up the kitchen table and the bathroom in a questionable state. The blonde has followed her into the kitchen and now hovers by the stairs, looking at Serena as if she is waiting for something. Which she probably is, because how would she know where to go? Serena chides herself and points upstairs.

“Take a right at the top of the stairs. The second door to the left is my bedroom.“

This earns her another silently raised eyebrow from the blonde.

“It has an ensuite you can use. There is another bathroom, but it’s best if you use mine. My nephew is very particular about sharing his space. Feel free to take a towel from the cupboard and anything else you need to clean yourself up.“

Berenice just nods, leaves some of the shopping bags she carried at the bottom of the stairs and takes one with her. Serena sinks down on a kitchen chair. Her own shirt hasn’t fared better than Berenice’s, but with the other woman in her ensuite, she can’t exactly go and change in her bedroom. The juice sticks the cloth uncomfortably to her skin though, so she decides to get up and have a look at the linen room. Luckily Jason has left some of his stuff out to dry and Serena uses the sole t-shirt hanging on the clothesline. It is an emergency after all.

Which is why Berenice Wolfe, after having cleaned herself and changed into something from her shopping bags that’s the least inappropriate item for this situation, finds herself standing in front of a still-nameless bookshop owner (surely not just an employee, she briefly wonders), while said bookshop whatever is wearing a very snug-fitting t-shirt, proclaiming her to be the “World’s Strongest Man“. Very snug-fitting. Her gaze lingers a little too long on the print, but fortunately she isn’t about to be caught because right now Serena wouldn’t even notice if half the annual Carnival's groups would suddenly paraded through her kitchen.

Where she was formerly clad in tight-fitting dark blue trousers and a lovely grey silken shirt with an equally lovely neckline, Berenice Wolfe is now wearing a dress. It’s dark blue and it shimmers and it dips and flows and her legs are showing and her neckline is even more exposed. Serena just stares at her and after what feels like an hour of both of them staring at each other, she has to remind herself to breathe.

“Did you find everything in order?“ Serena finally manages to ask.

“Yes, thanks.“ Berenice answers. “I’ve sent my location to my driver, so he’s going to pick me up soon.“

“Goody, well, would you like to have something to drink?“ Serena suddenly remembers her role as a hostess and looks around her kitchen as if everything is brand new.

“No, thanks.“ 

“I could make a cup of tea. Or coffee! Although our coffee machine is on the blink and sometimes the stuff it produces tastes an awful lot like burnt rubber. Probably not coffee, then - can’t risk poisoning you.“ Serena rambles while she opens and closes some kitchen cupboards.

Bernie looks at her, unsure if she should just accept something to give the other woman some peace of mind.

“How about a glass of juice?“ Serena asks, after having a look into the fridge. She turns to Berenice, notices the now almost familiar raised eyebrow and blushes. “Better not, I think, better not.“

“There’s still baked beans left if you are hungry?“ Serena has turned back to the fridge, further scrutinizing its contents. “I could make toast.”

It takes all of Bernie’s willpower not to shudder at that suggestion. “No, thanks.“

“Are you always so short on words? I mean, I saw you on the Graham Norton Show once and it looked like you were able to hold a conversation using more than the same three words repeated throughout. You even laughed, which is something I probably won’t ever forget hearing. Reminded me of the geese at St. James’s.“ Realising what she just said, Serena turns from the fridge to Berenice with wide eyes. “I… quite like them. Lovely animals. Beautiful plumage. Soothing to feed and to look at.” Her meagre attempt at digging herself out of that hole is broken by the blonde starting to laugh.

It is as fabulous a sound as Serena remembers - and absolutely infectious.

Which is why both women find themselves almost in tears when they hear the doorbell ring a minute later.

“I’ve got to go.” Bernie says while she manages to get herself under control again.

“Yes, you probably do.” Serena agrees and walks the other woman to the door.

They face each other, smiles ghosting both their lips.

“Thanks for your help.” Bernie finally says, wondering a bit why this suddenly feels stilted.

“You’re very welcome. It’s been a pleasure. You are... lovely. I should take my chance to tell you so, because after you’ve taken a closer look at the book you bought, you most certainly won’t return to my shop.”

Bernie just smiles at that.

“Well… nice to meet you. Surreal, but nice. Have a lovely day!” and with that, Serena shows Berenice Wolfe out of the door in a slightly awkward manner, only to collapse against her closed front door seconds later.

“Surreal, but nice? A bloody goose? What’s the matter with me?” she groans in horror.

She wanders back towards the kitchen, mumbling “baked beans on toast” to herself. Wonders what Morven might think has happened to her. Looks for her mobile to call her immediately, when she hears someone knock on her door.

“Coming!” she shouts, moving back towards the front door, just to find Berenice Wolfe in front of her again.

“I’m sorry, but I forgot my shopping bags.” the blonde says.

Serena runs a hand through her hair and turns back towards the kitchen. “Oh, right. Just a moment.” and with this she goes to pick up the missing bags, only to find the blonde back in the hallway once again on her return.

“Here you are… “ Serena says, handing the bags over. Her fingers brush Berenice’s and suddenly there’s this strange feeling of intimacy. The dress rustles, the space around them seems to shrink and their eyes lock. As if watching in slow motion, Serena sees the other woman lean forward and then their lips touch. It is a lovely feeling - albeit fleeting - and Serena feels quite at a loss when their kiss ends.

“I… I’ve got to apologize for the goose comparison. Absolutely uncalled for.” she manages to say, her mind still reeling about having been kissed by Berenice Wolfe.

“Don’t worry about that. I think the baked beans on toast were the real low point. Can’t stand baked beans.” Bernie smiles at Serena.

Suddenly a key clicks in the lock and makes them try to get some distance between them, both looking at the door.

“Oh my… that’s my nephew,” Serena starts to fret. “I do apologize. He is a lovely young man, but a bit different and a kind of an acquired taste, I’ve got to admit.”

The door opens and Jason looks more than a bit irritated at the both of them standing in the hallway.

“Hello, Auntie Serena. What are you doing at home at this time of the day? Why are you wearing my t-shirt? It doesn’t suit you. Why are you standing in the hallway? It’s rather dark and not the right place to entertain guests.”

He doesn’t wait for Serena to answer and turns towards Bernie. “Hello, I’m Jason. Who are you?”

“I’m Bernie.” the blonde says, looking a bit intrigued by the young man.

“Hello, Bernie. Are you staying for dinner? It’s shepherd's pie night and we always have enough leftovers, so it would be ok for you to stay. But you would have to help peel the vegetables.”

“I… won’t stay for dinner.”

“Ok. Maybe you’d better come over for fish and chips night next time, because we don’t have to prepare the food ourselves then. Auntie Serena, I’m going to my room now. I’ll return downstairs to help you with dinner when it’s time.” and with this Jason goes upstairs to his room.

Both women feel a bit at a loss at what to say.

Finally Bernie clears her throat and looks at Serena from under her fringe. “Probably best not to tell anyone about this.”

Serena just nods and goes with the blonde’s wishes. “Right. Sure. No one. I mean… I might tell myself sometimes, but don’t worry… I won’t believe me anyway. I mean… ‘Bernie’? People call you Bernie?”

Bernie gives her a smile and shrugs. “Well, Berenice is quite a mouthful. Bye…” she trails off, suddenly realising that she doesn’t even know the name of the woman she just kissed. Which is, simply said, not something she’s ever done before.

“Serena. Serena Campbell.”

“Goodbye, Serena Campbell.” and, with a brush of her hand over Serena’s shoulder, Bernie Wolfe once again takes her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been told that houses the size of the blue doored one probably wouldn't have a linen room and ensuite, but I decided that the house is the architectural equivalent of Hermione's handbag: There's a lot more space than you would have thought... and all the space I needed to get Serena into a snug fitting t-shirt. ;)
> 
> Kudos and comments - may they be about linen rooms, snug shirts or anything else - are highly welcome and appreciated. :)


	5. Your wave in my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the aftermath of Bernie Wolfe not only being at her house, but also being, well... unexpectedly forward, Serena tries to find some peace of mind again. It's not like she is going to complain about being kissed by a beautiful woman, but still... her ability to concentrate on the more mundane aspects of her life seems to have suffered a bit. Clearly this was singular occurance, so she has to find a way back to her usual equilibrium - or wasn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello & welcome back. :)

A few days go by and it is like a veil has been lifted. Suddenly Serena is aware of how surrounded by Bernie Wolfe she is. She sees her face on the front page of a tabloid, notices posters advertising her newest film literally everywhere. There’s even a screening of one of her older films at the Electric. Serena waits for Jason to leave for his chess club, then goes to see the film. It’s a kind of artsy, angsty romance, filmed all in black and white and at the end, Bernie’s smile fills the screen the moment her male co-star finally proposes to her.

After the film, Serena can't get the other woman’s magnificent smile out of her head. This makes her go home and turn to Google, in search for “Berenice Wolfe lesbian”. She closes the browser as soon as she sees some obviously manipulated pictures in quite the compromising situation. Takes a deep breath and opens up Google again. After about an hour she admits defeat. Nothing, absolutely nothing points into the direction of Berenice Wolfe even being slightly interested in women. Lots and lots of stories about men, though. Seems like every time she even crosses the street in the company of a man, the tabloids start to ask for a wedding date. Serena skips all of them.

Just let it go, Serena tells herself. Don’t try to understand what happened. It’s most likely that the other woman has already forgotten about the quick kiss she shared with a stranger in a small hallway somewhere in Notting Hill. Might be a filmstar thing. She decides to take a long hot bath and when she goes to bed after that, she tries to banish every single thought about Bernie Wolfe from her mind. Goes to sleep and dreams of soft lips, loud laughter and a beautiful smile.

The next morning drags. The weather is bad. It’s raining cats and dogs and most people decide to stay indoors. The man who had made her late for dinner about a week ago has braved the weather and comes back into the shop. Serena inwardly groans, but still gives him her best customer service smile.

“Good Morning! How may I help you?”

He looks around the shop and picks up a volume about a guy travelling through Ireland with a fridge. “Where can I find books by Dickens?” he asks her, without even looking at her.

Certainly nowhere on the shelves of a travel book shop, you bloody sod, Serena thinks, but manages to keep it at “I’m awfully sorry, but we are a travel bookshop. You won’t find any of his books here. Only sell travel books, you see?”

He harrumphs a bit at that, still reading the blurb. “How about this other author… writes stories about London and magic and rivers. Proper London-bred chap, he is. Don’t remember his name, though.”

“Ben Aaronovitch? I’m afraid his books don’t count as travel books either, even though his newest one takes place abroad.” Serena is at a loss with this guy. Everything she tells him just seems to fly over his head.

Luckily for her, Morven finally arrives. Serena gives her a dazzling smile and practically shoves her towards Mr. Oblivious, before making her way to her office. If she has to decide between talking to that man for another fifteen minutes and doing her paperwork for the next three hours, she will gladly choose the paperwork.

After a while Morven appears at her door, looking quite embarrassed. She fiddles with her hands and shuffles her feet and for a moment Serena fears that she is about to hand in her notice.

“What’s up, dear?” she tries to ask as kind as possible.

“I… I might have made a mistake. Might have cost us some money. I’m really sorry about this, Serena!” Morven rushes to say.

“What happened?” In her mind Serena is already making a list of possible catastrophes.

“I had a look at the answering machine two days ago and wrote everything down, but I misplaced the note, I can’t find it anymore and now we didn’t call the customers back and I don’t remember everyone who called and they might get angry.”

Serena sighs with relief, because there are worse things that could have happened. “Well, can’t be helped. Do you think you might remember at least some of them?”

“There were four. One of Mrs. Arley, she asked about a book for the South West Coast Path. I already called her back. And one guy, who wanted to know about something or other, but I don’t remember his name or number. The most curious one was a woman, who only introduced herself by her first name. Said, ‘Hi, it’s Bernie. Call me at The Ritz, tell them to put you through to…’ and then she mentioned a completely different name. A joke, probably, which leaves the fourth and-”

“Bernie?” Serena almost shouts, which makes Morven give her a wide eyed look. “A woman named Bernie called and asked to be called back at The Ritz?” Serena couldn’t believe this, tried to imagine a world where Bernie Wolfe would call her at her shop and utterly failed.

“Yes. She specifically said not to bother to mention her name, but… I don’t know… she mentioned another name… something like Cate Blanchett? Kate Winslet?”

Serena just stares at Morven. Morven stares back at her, clearly a bit frightened.

“Ok… here’s what we will do. You’ll go and take care of the shop and I’ll try to call The Ritz and sort this out.” Morven just nods at that and shuffles off to the front of the shop, clearly relieved to get out of Serena’s sight.

Serena sighs, finds the hotel’s number online and braces herself. Her call is answered by a posh-sounding guy. She momentarily falters a bit, but the thought of getting to talk to Bernie Wolfe again makes her steady herself.

“Good morning, my name is Serena Campbell and I’d like to speak to Ms. Berenice Wolfe.” Keep it short and simple, she tells herself and hopes for the best.

“I’m sorry, but unfortunately we don’t have a guest with that name here, Ma’am.” 

“How about … Kate Winslet?” Every moment in her life in which Serena felt like an utter fool before, is surely topped by this one.

“Sorry, Ma’am… we don’t have a guest going by that name either.”

Serena closes her eyes in frustration. She hears something rustle in front of her and finds Morven leaning against the doorframe once more. She has a piece of paper in her hand on which she has written ‘Try Kate Stewart’, giving her an encouraging smile.

“How about… Kate Stewart?” she almost mumbles.

“I’ll put you right trough, Ma’am.” the guy on the other side says smoothly and before Serena can actually believe her luck, the line is picked up again.

“Hello?” Bernie’s voice sounds as lovely as Serena remembers. For a moment her mind blanks and she forgets how to handle a conversation. “Hello?” she hears the other woman again and it comes rushing back at her that she should actually say something.

“Oh… hi. Hello. It’s Serena… Serena Campbell.” She manages to sound almost sane.

She hears a low chuckle at the other end of the line. Blushes at the sound of it and is glad that video calls aren’t yet the norm.

“Wouldn’t have thought you to be someone who plays it cool. I’ve waited two days for you to call me back.” The blonde sounds more amused than annoyed for being kept waiting.

“Believe me, that wasn’t my intention at all. I didn’t even have an intention, because until about half an hour ago I didn’t even know you’d called. My shop assistant forgot to tell me.” Serena sighs.

“So it only took you half an hour to call me back? I appreciate that.” Serena can almost hear the other woman smile. She remembers the smile she saw in that film at the Electric and feels flustered.

“Well…” She doesn’t really know what to say, doesn’t know what Bernie might expect her to say or do. Suddenly, she hears a bit of a commotion on the other side, someone starts to talk in the background and Bernie answers, her hand obviously placed on the receiver to muffle the sound.

“I’m sorry,” she says, after she is back on the line, “Things are a bit busy around here.”

“We could talk again later?” Serena offers her. “Or I could drop by for tea or something?” She’s astonished by herself.

“That… sounds good, actually. Let’s give it a try. How about three o’clock?”

“Three o’clock at The Ritz. Right, will do.” Serena manages to say.

“I’ve got to go now. See you this afternoon,” Bernie says and within a few seconds she is gone. Serena sits at her desk, the phone still in her hand and a look of utter disbelief on her face. “I’m going to have tea with Bernie Wolfe,” she tells herself in an attempt to get a grasp on reality once again.

After she finally comes back to her senses, everything happens in a bit of a flurry. Morven, who is still feeling bad about her blunder, promises to take care of the shop for the rest of the day. Knowing that any attempt to concentrate on work would be futile, Serena goes straight home instead. Since it’s Friday, Jason is staying at his girlfriend and her parents’ house, so at least she doesn’t have to worry about him. Worry she does, though, having emptied almost the whole content of her wardrobe onto her bed. What does one wear for tea at The Ritz with an actress?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming back to this - I hope you enjoyed today's chapter! Also thanks to everyone leaving kudos and comments so far. They make me smile and feel happy about deciding to post this! :)


	6. A Case of Mistaken Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having been invited for tea at The Ritz by Bernie Wolfe leaves Serena more than a bit flustered. With what seems like no time at all to prepare properly, her mind goes in about a dozen different directions with the way their next meeting might go. Little does she know that things to come will certainly... exceed her expectations in an unusual way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the next chapter of our Berena themed journey through the plot of Notting Hill! I hope you will enjoy today's chapter. :)

After finally coming to a decision clothes-wise - and even finding the time to drop by the florist first - Serena arrives at The Ritz. Having obtained the room number, she finds herself in front of the suite in unexpected company. A young man stands by her side and waits for her to knock at the door, smiling politely even after she’s shot him an irritated look.

“Are... you going in there?” she asks.

“Sure, sure I am. Wouldn’t know what to write otherwise. Also… who would turn down the chance to speak to her in person?“ he answers politely.

Serena is slightly irritated. Maybe she misinterpreted their call and Bernie will... hold court or something? Before she can decide against some fangirly group meeting and turn back, the door opens and a woman greets both of them with a wide smile.

“Hi there, lovely of you to come by. Here’s the press package, take a look at it and I‘ll call you right up when it is your turn for the interview...“ And with this she thrusts a folder towards each of them and ushers them into a room that has been set up as a kind of waiting area. Before Serena can utter so much as a peep, the woman is gone again.

The lad eyes her with interest, clearly notices her discomfort.

“First time with the circus?“

“I‘ve got to admit that I feel a little bit at a loss right now.“ Serena mumbles, leafing through the folder. Sees a full size body shot of Bernie Wolfe in some kind of snug fitting overalls and can’t take her eyes off it.

“Beautiful isn’t she?” the guy pipes in. “Probably breathtaking in real life, too. You even brought her flowers!” he says, while nodding at the bouquet at her side.

“Yes, yes, I did... although I’m wondering now if this was the right decision? What am I supposed to do?”

“Well, you could give her the flowers or just pretend that they are for someone else if you don’t want to give them to her anymore. You could always make up a story of visiting a friend at the hospital afterwards to explain them away.”

Serena just nods, still unsure about where this whole madness will take her.

A door at the end of the room opens and a guy pokes his head through. “Next one!?” The chap next to her gives Serena a nudge and nods at the door. “Off you go, otherwise you might faint with anticipation. Good luck, you’ll do just fine. Just remember: under all that glamour, she is probably just like you and me.”

Serena feels herself getting off the chair and walking towards the door. Still unable to figure out what this is all about, where she misunderstood or let something slip by unnoticed that might explain all of this.

The door opens up into a truly opulent room. Antiques that were clearly not made in China during the last twenty years, rich patterned covers and curtains, a rug that - if walked on barefoot - probably feels like walking on a cloud, and flowers... so many flowers. In the middle of all of this: Bernie, seated on a delicate two seater. Her eyes catch Serena’s and there’s an instant silent plea.

Nobody utters a word until the man who shepherded her into the room gives a cough and looks curiously at the both of them.

“You better get on with it. Times ticking!” he addresses Serena, who looks rather clueless at that sentiment.

“Ric, would you be so kind as to ask for some more tea?” Bernie addresses her manager. He just nods and leaves the room. As soon as the door closes behind him, she exhales visibly and turns towards Serena.

“I’m so, so sorry! I thought this would be over and done with by now, but everything got delayed and you are here and they think you’re a journalist and...”

“They think I’m what?” Serena interrupts the other woman and sits down across from her, trying to process this rather unexpected turn of events.

“We did a press screening today. To be concluded by the attending journalists getting to ask the cast a few questions afterwards, so they now think that you are one of the journalists.” Bernie answers more calmly.

“For which paper?” Serena wants to know.

“Your guess is as good as mine. Didn’t they ask you that already?”

“No, they didn’t. Would have been found out if they did. At least now I’ve got the time to think of something suitable. Well, I’ve always wanted to write for The Guardian. They’ve got a lovely travel column.” Serena smiles at Bernie and sees her noticeably relax and smile back.

“Unfortunately the man from The Guardian was already in, so no chance.”

“Just my luck. Well, I’ll think of something if they ask. Or we could tell them that I’m actually here to have tea with you? I’ve brought you flowers, by the way.” And she thrusts them in Bernie’s direction, her bunch looking decidedly sorry in comparison to the other flowers in the room. 

“Oh!” Bernie looks at the flowers as if they are the most unexpected thing. “Thank you.” She takes them and places them by her side. ”I don’t think that it would be advisable to tell anyone why you are here. In fact, I really don’t want to involve you any further in this madness. It’s rather tiresome and I already have enough of a reason to apologise to you!”

“Well, you couldn’t know that this would take longer than intended. No need to apologise.” Serena says, but a look at Bernie’s face tells her that this might actually not be the thing she wants to apologise about.

“I...” the blonde starts up and falters a bit, “I actually wanted to apologise for the kiss.”

“The kiss.”

“Yes. It was rather uncalled for and I’m very sorry about it.”

“You’re sorry to have kissed me?” Serena can’t keep the hurt out of her voice.

“Yes, well, no... well, it’s... complicated?” Bernie offers up in an unsure voice. “I don’t normally go around kissing people I’ve just met, people whose names I don’t even know.”

“Me neither!” Serena feels taken aback.

“I wasn’t trying to insinuate that.” Bernie sighs.

Serena just looks at the other woman and tries to decide on the best way to handle this. “Look, how about we have dinner this evening? Let’s just... eat and talk.”

“I can’t. I'm leaving London tomorrow and I’ve got... this thing planned today.”

Now it’s Serena that huffs in frustration. “Ok, well, that can’t be helped. Look, we’ll probably never see each other again, so let me assure you that there is no need to be sorry. I’m fine. You are not the first woman I’ve kissed, you’ll most likely not be the last. Even though it was very unexpected, I don’t regret our kiss. So please don’t fret on my behalf.”

Bernie looks at her wide-eyed and gives her a nod. She just starts to say something when the door behind Serena opens again and Ric comes back into the room. Bernie relaxes again and gives Serena a wink, set on keeping the charade up and running.

“So... did you enjoy the film, Ms. Campbell?”

Serena gives her a sour look, but Bernie just smirks at her. Challenge accepted, the brunette thinks to herself.

“Of course I did! I’ve always liked your work. Seeing you in such a setting, working so obviously in sync with the rest of the cast kept me very entertained.” Serana has never had a problem of talking and charming her way around things. She promises herself not to falter in front of Berenice Bloody Wolfe, even if she has to pretend to write for Horse & Hound to pull this off.

Bernie raises an appreciative eyebrow at the other woman. “Thank you so much! Is there a last question you want to ask, Ms. Campbell?”

Serena could indeed think of a few questions she might like to ask the other woman, but they aren’t related to a film she hasn’t even seen yet and also not to be asked in present company. She decides to play it safe and just asks about Bernie’s next project, earning herself another smile and a rather vague answer. Tea guy (Ric, Serena remembers) stands up after that, clearly set on ushering her out of the room. She shakes hands with Bernie as a goodbye, which makes her heart jump and her breath catch.

Having managed to escape the rather cringy situation, Serena makes her way to the exit, telling herself to feel relieved for being able to chalk this up as another surreal meeting with Bernie Wolfe. Nothing more to come of it now. She reaches the door when the woman who greeted her in the beginning almost pounces on her unexpectedly.

“There you are! Wondered where you might be. Think you might have got a bit lost. Follow me, please. I’ll show you around to meet the rest of the cast.”

With this, a very, very long hour begins, with Serena having to charm her way through several interviews, all of them a bit stilted. But given that she has never done this before - especially not for a film she hasn’t the slightest idea about - they’re not as bad as they could have been. After she has done the last interview, Serena feels tired and more than slightly rumpled. She is almost out of the door for a second time, when she is once again found by the woman ushering people around. She groans and wonders what might happen now.

“I’m sorry, but would you follow me once more? Ms. Wolfe would like to speak to you again.” She says, a tone of wonder clearly audible in her voice.

Serena is just as surprised as the other woman and follows her back to the room she met Bernie in before. She’s let inside and finds herself alone with the blonde once more. She looks tired, too. Her hair looks distinctly more ruffled than before, strays hang loose from the formerly tight bun, part of her fringe falling into her face. She has also lost the shawl around her neck and unbuttoned part of her shirt, showing a very lovely neckline. She looks a bit apprehensive, as if unsure how to proceed now that Serena is actually back.

“Look. The thing I had planned - this evening - it’s not happening anymore.If you would like to have dinner still, we could... you know. If you haven’t changed your mind?” She smiles at Serena from under her fringe.

Serena beams back at her. “Of course I haven’t changed my mind! Would you like to decide on a restaurant or should I… ” Serena suddenly remembers. “Shit!” She cusses rather unapologetically.

“Is there a problem?” Bernie asks, her eyebrows scrunched up.

“Yes, no... no, not really. It’s the birthday of a very dear friend and what with everything this afternoon, I rather forgot that I was meant to go over for dinner. I’ll just let them know that I can’t make it.”

“I could accompany you... as your plus one?”

“What? Accompany me to a dinner party at a friend’s house? A friend that can’t cook by the way, so don’t get your hopes up!”

“Sure, let’s go to the dinner party. Unless you really don’t want to go - then you could use me as a welcome excuse and we can have dinner at a restaurant somewhere.”

“No! If you’re sure… it’s ok. Well, that’s settled then. I’ll pick you up at seven if that’s ok? Dinner is set for eight, so that’ll give us enough time to get there.”

“Seven it is. I’m... looking forward to seeing you again, Serena.” and with the last sentence ringing in her ears and Bernie’s smile branded into her eyes, Serena forces herself to take her leave, impatient to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news for everyone interested: I managed to complete a (hopefully) convincing draft of the restaurant scene - finally! ^^ So I'll soon have enough chapters ready to be able to post for the next six weeks, thanks to my wonderful & patient beta reader @ukulelefoot!
> 
> Feel free to comment, I really like to know what people think about this. :) (But - no pressure - if you don't want to/can't comment for reasons - just keep on reading if you want to and enjoy the story.)


	7. And if you threw a party...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After missing out on tea at The Ritz and the possibility to spend some time in private with Bernie Wolfe, Serena gets another chance at a date with the lovely blonde unexpectedly back into her life. Although the "date" will involve a whole group of Serena's friends. Which is... a bit nerve wracking for her. Maybe she should have just begged off the birthday party, but here they are, getting ready to step into the lion's den, normally better known as the house of Raf and Fletch, her best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to this Sunday's chapter, where we will meet Serena's friends and see how they will react to Bernie as her 'plus one'. Hope you'll like this. :)

By the time they approach Serena’s friends’ house, Serena feels like she is brimming with energy. Bernie seems relaxed for someone who is going to meet a bunch of new people - people who might even get a bit starstruck. On the contrary, Serena’s nerves have never been so on edge. She wonders how things will proceed, why Bernie was so keen to accompany her, what her friends might say, how they will act. The moment she finally knocks, she tells herself to relax and let go. It isn’t like she would be able to change things anyway.

Raf opens the door almost immediately.

“Serena! Feels like we haven’t seen you in ages - you look lovely! Made an effort for us, haven’t you? Or is it more of an effort for your mysterious plus one you decided to bring last minute?” He turns to Bernie still smiling only to stop short in the middle of his attempt to shake her hand. His smile kind of freezes, he stares and stutters, “You’re Berenice Wolfe.”

Bernie nods and smiles at him.

He turns back to Serena and repeats “This is Berenice Wolfe. You brought Berenice Wolfe to dinner?” in an accusing kind of voice.

Serena decides to take the plunge. “You are absolutely right, dear. I brought Berenice Wolfe to dinner. Hopefully your husband won’t poison her with his latest attempt on fine cooking and hopefully there’s a chance of getting a drink. When you finally let us in.”

Raf comes to his senses and almost shoves them both down the hallway and into the spacious kitchen. “Sorry dear...” he whispers to Serena, while awkwardly hovering behind their backs. He’s desperately attempting to catch his husband’s eyes, before he, too, embarrasses himself.

Fletch has his back turned to them, and is frantically waving a tea towel at the smoke clouds coming out of the oven. “I swear it was in there only five minutes longer than it should have been. Ten at most! Definitely no more than twenty.” He reaches down into the oven and retrieves a pan with the smoking remains of something that might have been two birds somewhere along the line.

He turns towards all of them, stress and sorrow clearly showing on his face. “I’m sorry you guys! Clearly something wasn’t right with the recipe. Can’t trust Sainsbury’s magazine. Should have used a proper cookbook!” In his panic, he clearly doesn’t register Bernie - just gives her an absent nod and a half-smile. He places the pan on the cooker and eyes the smouldering birds warily. “I think it might be possible to salvage parts of this.” He finally notices Raf almost jumping up and flapping his arms behind their guests. “You all right, love?”

Serena and Bernie turn to look at him and Raf stops immediately, a blush spreading across his face. “Yes, of course. Everything is just fine. Don’t worry, we’ll get over the minor kitchen setback.” The two men smile at each other, both of them clearly used to situations like this one.

“Can always get a take away.” Fletch sights.

“No need for that. The tatties and greens will still be good and we’ve got that lovely cheese and apple sauce from Marks & Spencer’s. We will manage just fine.” Raf reassures him and more or less discreetly nods at Bernie and Serena standing by the side. “How about we start getting our guests drunk so they might not notice the slightly charred taste?”

“Of course! Why don’t they have a glass of wine yet? Poor Serena must be parched already.”

Serena blushes and tuts at that, while Bernie chuckles at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Fond of your wine, are you?” she inquires while Raf and Fletch move around the kitchen.

“I’ll have you know that I do highly appreciate a fine bottle of red, yes. Shiraz, preferably. That doesn’t mean that I can’t do without, though. Raf made me sound like an alcoholic which I am decidedly not.”

Bernie smiles at Serena’s slightly sour face. “I wouldn’t have thought so,” she reassures the other woman. Sees the brunette relax again and smile back at her.

Raf appears in front of them, two glasses of red in his hands. “Here you go. Shiraz, as always, Serena and for you too, Berenice. Or would you prefer something else?”

“No, thanks. Shiraz is fine. Oh, and please, call me Bernie. Berenice… it’s a bit too much for my taste.”

“Sure. “ Raf gives her a disbelieving look. “Bernie. Bernie it is.”

Fletch, finally abandoning the food crisis, comes over, also carrying two glasses, one of which he gives to Raf. “I’m so sorry! Those birds proved to be more of a bother than I thought. But Serena, you brought a guest! Great!” He smiles at Serena and turns towards Bernie, and the moment Serena introduces her as Bernie…

“Wolfe! Berenice Wolfe.” Fletch says, recovering admiringly fast. “Bernie, how’s the wine?” he manages to almost sound normal.

Before Bernie has the chance to answer, there’s a loud knock on the front door.

“This will be Fleur.” Raf goes to open up the door.

“The birthday girl?” Bernie looks at Serena and Fletch in confirmation.

“If you call her a girl, you’ve already won her heart.” Fletch grins at Bernie.

Meanwhile there’s a kind of commotion in the hallway and seconds later Fleur almost jumps into the room, striking a pose.

“Hello you lot! Please give me a drink, so that I forget it’s my birthday, but still make me feel cherished and admired.” She grins at all of them. After another second her eyes fall on Bernie. Her arms drop to her side and her eyebrows almost rise to the top of her head. “Oh holy fuck?!” is all that she manages to say, still staring at the blonde.

Serena takes a step forward. “Darling, this is Bernie. Bernie, this is Fleur, one of my dearest friends.”

Bernie gives Fleur a smile and wiggles her fingers at her. “Hi, happy birthday!”

“Good Lord, what have you done? I mean, this is really a lovely surprise, but hiring me a Berenice Wolfe double is kind of unexpected. I mean she’s hot, but Serena what were you thinking?” She eyes Bernie with a judging gaze. “Although I really like what I see. You’re almost as beautiful as the original, dear. Are you a mere impersonator or will there be a show? Might you even be a stripper?” Her smile widens into predatory and she takes a step towards the other woman.

Bernie almost chokes on the wine she had the misfortune of drinking that moment. Serena turns beet red and Raf restarts his hand flapping, shushing chicken impersonation. Only Fletch seems unperturbed.

“No one’s gonna take their clothes off, love, sorry to disappoint, but you’ll have to live with that. And no, we didn’t get you an impersonator - this is the real deal and I think Serena would prefer you to be a bit more… subdued. Look at her face, she’s mortified.” Everyone turns to Serena, who just groans and kicks herself for even thinking that she would be able to go through an evening with her friends unruffled. The embarrassment subsides when Bernie slides her hand along her back and gives her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s alright. I mean it is kind of funny, isn’t it?” she whispers into Serena’s ear.

Serena gives her a forced smile and turns to look at Fleur, who pouts back at her.

“I’m awfully sorry, love, but how do you think I’d react? Serene Serena turning up with a famous actress for my birthday party? I've been trying to get you to leave your comfort zone for months now, but I’ve never come anywhere near to expecting… this if you finally do. Nowadays you normally just bring some shop talk and the latest news on the documentaries you’ve recently watched with Jason. Not… some delicious treat like this.” Fleur gestures and winks at Bernie.

“Gosh, one of you makes me sound like a drunk, the other one describes me as the most boring person on earth. Please tell me how I came to deserve such a sorry lot as my best friends again?” Serena rolls her eyes and, before Fletch can come to her rescue, there’s another knock on the front door.

“Sacha. Finally!” Raf almost runs up to the door, only to return a few minutes later with the last of the guests in tow. He smiles at all of them, before hugging Fleur a bit awkwardly.

“Congratulations, birthday girl! Sorry I’m late. Bollocksed up at work again, I fear. Millions down the drain.” Fleur pats his arm reassuringly, while Serena makes some sympathetic noises. By now they all know that he isn’t the best suited for the job he has right now. Sacha pulls himself together and smiles at Bernie. Bernie smiles back. Nothing else happens.

“Sacha, this is Bernie.” Serena finally introduces the other woman.

“Hi Bernie, lovely to meet you.” Sacha shakes Bernie’s hand, smiles once more and turns to Fletch. “What’s up with dinner? I’m starving and I hope you didn’t manage to make a mess out of everything?” The amount of raised eyebrows in the room is staggering, but Sacha doesn’t notice and therefore everyone decides that this must finally be the true unperturbed British way to deal with occurrences like this one. With all the guests finally present, the mood starts to feel more relaxed and soon the group splits up in final preparations for dinner. Fletch keeps Serena in the kitchen under the pretense of needing her help with dinner, while Bernie finds herself in Sacha’s company in the living room - Raf and Fleur suddenly gone.

Sacha smiles at her again. “Lovely to see Serena bringing a date. So, tell me, what do you do?”

Bernie manages not to laugh at his question. It has been quite a while since someone obviously failed to recognise her and she is enjoying herself immensely right now.

“I’m an actress,” she simply says.

“Oh, splendid. Splendid. I’m in the stock market, so not really similar fields, I fear. Though I did some stuff at university - P.G. Wodehouse, a bit of the Pythons. Wink wink, nudge nudge, you know? Couldn’t imagine doing it for a living though. Must be pretty tough with the wages? Aren’t they a scandal?” Sacha looks quite concerned and seems to imagine Bernie almost starving due to her career decision.

“They can be scandalous, yes.” She even agrees with him on that, still remembers how it was at the beginning of her career. How it still is for many other actresses. How it might be again for her someday. Even though she’s good at keeping her money together, so she will probably never face her past problems again. No excessive luxury for her. She has nothing against a bit of self pampering, but who needs four yachts and two private planes?

“I mean, I see friends from university, clever chaps. They’ve been in the business longer than you and they are scraping by on… what, fifteen thousand a year? The have to share awfully small flats on the outskirts of the city with other people scraping by. That’s no life, isn’t it? What sort of acting do you do?”

“Films, mainly.” 

“Oh… well done!” Sacha looks at her approvingly. “How’s the pay in films? I mean, the last film you did - what did they pay you for that?”

“Seventeen million dollars.” Bernie is not going to lie about that.

Sacha seems to freeze. He looks a bit like a rabbit caught in the headlights. His mouth opens, but there’s no sound. Finally he manages to utter, “Right… right.. so… That seems fair. Fairly good. Quite a lot of money. Which is, you know, good. Definitely worth striving for.” He grabs some nuts from a bowl and shoves them into his mouth. Bernie just smiles. She is having a good time.

Meanwhile, Serena isn’t able to share that sentiment right now. Fletch has put her on greens duty. There’s no way to politely escape and, by the stern look he is currently giving her, she can already feel the questions piling up.

“Have you slept with her?” He finally asks.

Serena is taken aback by this. This isn’t what she expected and surely he’s not expecting her to deign that question with an answer. She just makes a vague noise and pokes at the broccoli simmering on the stove.

“You have slept with her.” Fletch seems to have come to a decision.

“Why are you suddenly so obsessed with my sex life?” she whispers at him, afraid that Bernie might hear. Someone enters the kitchen, but it’s only Raf, coming back from wherever he went with Fleur. A moment later Sacha looks into the kitchen.

“There you are. Really! Fleur is showing Bernie to the bathroom and I’m on my own, while you hang around in the kitchen. What’s up with you lot?”

“Bernie is upstairs?” Raf asks eagerly.

“Yes, she is. Why?” Sacha seems to be completely at a loss with their behaviour.

“Quickly, quickly, quickly, Serena. Talk very, very quickly. What are you doing at our house with Berenice Wolfe??”

Sacha loses the little colour he has. “BERENICE WOLFE?” he practically barks, realising that he may have made quite the fool of himself during their little chat.

Everyone else shushes at him in a desperate attempt to keep Bernie from noticing their little gathering.

“Berenice Wolfe. The film star?” he mumbles, only to see his friends nod in answer. He groans and lumps himself against the doorframe. “Goodness. Oh my, ohhh my... “

“What have you done now?” Serena almost hisses at him, but is spared the answer, because Fleur comes into the room.

“Spill! Right now!” she addresses Serena, her eyes sparkling with glee. “What is she doing here?”

“Put yourself together, please. We met at the shop. She bought a book. Then we met again. I’m not even completely sure what she’s doing here and I brought her. If you make her feel uncomfortable, I’ll forever regret not taking her to a restaurant instead of coming to see you all. Can we please try to act as normal as possible?”

“Serena has got a point,” Fletch says. “Let’s dial it back at bit. Time to serve dinner anyway. Come on, take a seat and we’ll dish up.” He shooes them out of the kitchen and towards the dinner table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented, gave kudos, kept up with me rambling on about this, virtually held my hand during parts of the writing process and, of course, thanks for betaing this @ukulelefoot. I made some changes after she had a final look at the chapter, so if you find any mistakes - they surely are mine and mine alone. :)


	8. The comfort of a small piece of cake...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With dinner finally ready to be served and her friends sworn in to behave a bit more moderate than before, Serena just hopes that the rest of the evening will be fine for both Bernie and her. Surely her friends love her and want to see her happy. They wouldn't... tell tales out of school or anything like that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! :) It's Sunday and therefore time to add another chapter. I hope you all enjoy the second part of the dinner scene - including those of you who recently watched the film and are now able to compare things! ;)
> 
> Thanks to my very, very helpful beta, @ukulelefoot for all the time she already invested in this story!

Dinner goes surprisingly well. It’s like the tension left the room the moment they sat all down. It might be the shared experience of one of Fletch’s overly-ambitious meals, or maybe they all collectively decided to give Serena a break. Whatever the reason, Serena likes the outcome. Watching Bernie engage with her friends, exchanging light banter with Fleur (who can’t behave herself), listening to Sacha’s latest money-burning work stories and laughing with Raf and Fletch in regards to their latest work shenanigans, she feels content and happy. Suddenly Bernie’s eyes meet hers across the table. The blonde takes a sip of wine and gives her such a fond smile that Serena’s heart probably skips a beat or two. She smiles back, willing herself to keep breathing. It’s like time has slowed down for the two of them, obviously just for the two of them, because they are pulled back to reality by Fletch’s outcry at Fleur’s attempt to eat the last brownie on the plate before anyone notices.

“Ey! That’s the last one! I know it’s your birthday, but you already had… “ Fleur’s glare warns him against detailing her eating habits “... your share,” he ends a bit lamely.

“So what? Should we cut it into pieces, for everyone to have a bit of a nibble?” Fleur pouts.

“Let’s compete for it! Winner gets the brownie all for their own.” Raf suggests.

“Compete how?” Serena asks. “I certainly don’t feel up to a physical competition right now.”

"That's a shame, Serena. Here I thought we could have an arm wrestling competition to win the brownie and you promptly back out! Makes me feel a bit sad not to be able to show of the hard earned benefits of my latest director imposed strict fitness regime." Despite her words, Bernie doesn't look sad at all, but laughs at Serena's appalled reaction.

"If this is how you look when you have to act sad, I wonder how you keep getting all those roles thrown at you." Serena huffs.

“That settles it, you lot. We've got this - we can do better! Or worse, actually. The saddest person at the table will win the brownie. Sob stories out, everyone. Let’s hear about your sad attempts at life.” Fletch smirks at them, ignoring their groans.

“Well,” Sacha starts, “I’m sure I totally deserve this brownie, but I’m also quite sure that I won’t get it, because I never win. I’m also at a loss at my job, I don’t know what I’m doing and I fear that my boss managed to catch up on that fact. Which means, I’ll be out of a job rather sooner than later. And - as you all know, my love life is, well, nonexistent and has been for quite a while. I had that disastrous attempt at using Tinder and may I remind you about the one woman who agreed to meet up with me?”

Everyone besides Bernie erupts into groans and Raf mutters “Oh, please, don’t.”.

"Ah, come on… give me a break. Not everyone can get as lucky with love as you both are!" Sacha exclaims with a nod towards Raf and Fletch, making both of them look at each other fondly.

"Well, I have to say that you're right. We've been extremely lucky bastards when it comes to love." Raf admits. "I mean, here we are… loving each other, living together."

"In this big house." Fletch interjects with a frown.

"In this big house." Raf nods in agreement. "Bit too big actually for the two of us we thought."

"So we thought, we should change that." Fletch gazes at his wine glass. "I mean… there are so many kids out there needing someone who cares for them and here we are with this big house…"

"You're going to adopt!" Serena blurts in delight.

"Actually, we aren't," Raf says, resignation colouring his voice.

"We wanted to, but for now we can't." Fletch seems to be on the brink of breaking his glass now. "I never imagined myself with a house full of kids, but then we met and things changed and now that I can imagine us raising kids, it seems like we can't."

"Well, we aren't allowed to. Due to 'circumstances'." Both men huff and their sarcasm and hurt is palpable. "We all know what they mean by that." Raf makes an exasperated hand gesture. "G-A-Y!"

Even though the mood is suddenly way too solemn for a birthday dinner, Fleur snorts at the gesture, ending the introspective mood of both men.

"You see… the brownie clearly goes to us." Raf says with a wink at Fletch.

“Pish-posh! You'll find another way. Sue the agency if you must. Gay adoption shouldn't be that difficult nowadays. So get away from that brownie, because you don’t stand a chance, love.” Fleur chimes in, “I mean, I know it’s my birthday, but this is a rather sad occasion if you think about it. You two got each other - and me? Another year older and I’m still flitting around the ever shrinking, almost non existent lesbian scene. I mean, casual sex is fine, don’t get me wrong, but still… shouldn’t there be more to my love life by now? What if gravity finally takes its toll? What if I’m too used to being on my own to actually be able to commit to someone else? I can’t keep on dancing on tables in seedy bars for the rest of my life. Also, my genius is wasted at work right now. I’m constantly bored. I hate being bored.”

“That’s nothing special, I’m afraid,” Fletch sighs. “We are all getting older and you aren’t the only one who’s bored at work, eh?” Fletch looks at Serena rather pointedly. “Due to the fact that Serena is here with someone who is thankfully unaware of all her shortcomings, we might have to help her win that brownie. Otherwise she might forgo the brownie to safe her blushes.”

Serena buries her face in her hands. Protesting won’t help at all, there’s nothing to do but to brace herself and hope for the best - or at least hope that Bernie won’t run off during the next few minutes.

Fleur laughs and - of course - gleefully starts: “You’re right, you know? I mean, I’m bored at work, but at least I get paid. Whereas Serena is bored at work and therefore constantly on the brink of having to close up her shop. It’s a miracle that she even lasted this long.”

“But, you know, I heard that her shop might have become the latest celebrity spotting place. The rich and famous seem to have started buying books there.” Raf winks at Bernie, who laughs at this. “Whereas her private life… I don’t know. It’s a bit on the dull side, don’t we agree?”

“There’s only so many documentaries one can watch in the evening before going bonkers, right?” Sacha chimes in good-naturedly. “Your whole life revolves around Jason and the shop, the shop and Jason. That sounds a bit dull, even for me.”

Serena contemplates grabbing the brownie and throwing it out of the nearby window, just to stop this. She can’t look at Bernie right now, can’t bear to see the horror on her face, having realised what a mistake she made by contacting Serena. How completely different their lives must be. She feels a foot nudging hers, looks up to see Bernie more amused than shocked. The blonde winks at her and taps her foot against hers once more. Within a moment things don’t look so bad anymore.

“Well if you insist, just give me the damn brownie and be done with.” Serena takes the plate, but Bernie grabs at it too and holds on.

“Wait! What about me?” she wants to know.

“You?!” Raf almost laughs out loud. “You think you might lead the saddest life of us all? Are you for real?”

“Hang on, folks. Let her have an attempt at getting the brownie. Fair’s fair.” Fletch nods at Bernie and Serena lets go of the plate. Bernie settles back onto her chair and gives them all a grave look.

“You know, all you see is the glamourous part of this life. The fame, the money, the flattery… but it isn't real. None of it is. I know I’ve made it so far, but the risk of failure shadows me every day. Someday they all will notice that, by some kind of smoke and mirror trick, they all thought I could act, but in reality I’m just good-looking with excellent family ties, but no real talent of my own. They will notice my failing looks and, as more and more of my family crumbles around me, they won’t be so obliged to hold back their critique of me as they once were. I mean, it’s already brutal. Take the orange juice, Serena. If a picture of that had found its way to the tabloids, they would have had a field day. I just can’t be myself in public without someone latching onto me, squeezing my private life for every ounce of entertainment they might find, leaving me behind feeling utterly degraded. I love acting, love it with every single part of me, but I hate being deemed a public figure because of it. I hate how social media makes me feel when a project I was dedicated to, comes to an end the public doesn’t care for. Really, I don’t even use Twitter or Instagram or whatever is hip nowadays if I can avoid it. People nag and nag and behave like I am obliged to give them more than I want to, more than I am able to, just because I choose to be an actress. They blame me for things that are completely out of my control due to how the film business is run nowadays. Sometimes I wish it would all just end. I wish I could slip into being ‘the famous actress formerly known for her roles as…’. I’d miss acting too much, though. But maybe the next time the media tears apart my private life because of something or other I did, I’ll be devastated enough to finally turn my back, move back to London, let a few years pass by and live my life in peace.”

Silence has fallen. Everyone is looking at Bernie, who keeps her eyes fixed on her wine glass, rolling its stem between her fingers. She looks contemplative, sad and even a little bit lost. Serena stares at her, Bernie’s words still resonating inside her. She wonders how she could have misjudged the life Bernie leads so badly. Suddenly Fletch breaks the silence with a cough.

“Nice try, beautiful, nice try. I’ve gotta say, you might’ve convinced the rest of the table with your little monologue, but you don’t fool me.” He grins at Bernie, who suddenly doesn’t seem to be sad anymore and grins back at him.

“Can’t win them all.” She shrugs her shoulders and gives him a wide smile.

“No, you can’t. So no brownie for you!” Fletch pushes the plate towards Serena, who shakes her head laughing and gleefully digs into the piece of cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note on the process of queer parents adopting kids in the UK: I've got to admit that I know absolutely nothing about adoption at all, gay or otherwise, UK or anywhere else. I've been told that it has been possible to adopt as a same sex couple for quite some time now in the UK and that Raf & Fletch would actually have a good chance to be able to raise kids together. Unfortunately for them, my storyline idea went another way. Sorry!
> 
> Feel free to comment or talk to me on/about this story, head canons for this fic, Berena feelings (still very high, what else) or things that crossed your mind while reading.


	9. In this quiet resting-place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Serena won the last brownie, mostly due to the charming but also merciless teasing by her friends, she's relieved that the evening actually went rather well. At least Bernie didn't make a run for it after hearing about all her alleged shortcomings. With dinner coming to an end, she wonders how their evening might proceed. Bernie is going to leave London again soon. Will they just say their goodbyes for now, hopeful to meet again someday soon when Bernie's schedule will bring her back to the city?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi... and welcome back! After the treasure trove of remix fics kept me very happily entertained during the last week, I'm back to posting and writing my own fic again. Just to keep you all up to date: The next three chapters in addition to this one are written and almost completely edited! *relieved gasp*

With dinner having come to an end, they spend some more time in the company of Serena’s friends until they finally decide to take their leave. Light banter with Fleur, stilted words with Sacha and extended goodbyes with Fletch and Raf take their time, but finally they step outside only to hear loud hollering and hysterical screams from inside. Serena promptly blushes and groans and Bernie can’t hold back a chuckle.

“Let me guess - they always do that when you leave?”

Serena just snorts at Bernie. They start to walk down the street, both caught in their own thoughts.

“Would… would you like to come to… My house isn’t far and Jason is at Alan’s tonight…”

“That would be way too complicated.” Bernie sighs.

“Oh… ok.” Serena tries not to feel too disappointed

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

“I thought you were leaving London?”

“I was.” Bernie looks at her and gives her a cautious smile. “I’m not anymore.”

“Oh.” Serena feels warmth spread inside her. “I’ll have to check with Jason. He might not be too fond of the idea to stay home alone or at his friend’s for another night at such short notice.”

“He could come with us. If you don’t want to leave him alone.”

“You’re sure about this?” Serena marvels at Bernie.

“No,” Bernie smiles once more, “but I’ll try if it means I get to see you again.”

Bernie notices some kind of park behind the railing they are walking by and stops the moment they are at the gate.

“Look at this. I didn’t know that they had communal gardens around here? I grew up in a house with access to one.”

“You did?”

“Yes. We’d always meet up with the neighbour’s kids and explore. I loved the gardens.” Bernie gazes fondly at the greenery behind the gate. “You know what? Let’s explore this one - take a walk around inside.”

“Bernie, we can’t! They’re private! The gate is closed and there’s no way to get inside…” Serena’s mouth drops open at the sight of Bernie taking two steps back and swinging herself up the railing with the help of a short run-up. The blonde holds herself carefully on top of the fence and looks down at Serena with a proud smile.

“You coming? Or do you need help?”

Serena gives the railing an apprehensive look. It’s high, it’s spiky and it lacks decent footholds. She has never been the sportiest person and she feels like she is rapidly nearing an age where she should refrain from climbing up any kind of architecture that wasn’t specifically designed to be climbed upon. On the other hand, she is way too competitive for her own good and she can’t just let Bernie sit on top of the fence, smirking down at her.

Her first try is less than graceful. She only manages about a third of the height, then she loses her footing and slides down back to the start. She manages to break her fall, but gets tangled up in the ivy, provoking a laugh from Bernie. She gives her the evil eye and starts again. Bernie slides down on the other side and holds her hands out to her through the bars.

“Leg-up.” she says, smiling.

Torn between the want to manage on her own and the need to get this over with, Serena accepts the help and manages to haul herself up. She gingerly navigates the spikes and topples down on the other side with less grace than she would like. Bernie has already made her way further into the garden and Serena has no other choice but to follow her, still huffing a bit from the unexpected exercise.

“Pray, tell me what is so special about this place that we have to risk mortal injuries to be here?” Serena has finally caught up with the other woman, who stands still at the edge of the trees, looking at the lavish garden in front of them. Suddenly she turns and Serena’s breath hitches at the look in her eyes. It takes only a millisecond for Bernie to take a step towards her and then they are kissing again. Bernie’s lips are warm and soft and kissing her is even better than Serena remembers. She feels herself being tucked against Bernie’s body and she can’t help tangling a hand into Bernie’s hair and moaning in response to their bodies colliding.

After what could have been mere minutes or several hours, they disentangle themselves from each other in their need to breathe. Serena smiles at Bernie, feeling relaxed and excited at the same time, feeling more alive than she remembers feeling for years. Bernie smiles back at her and takes her hand, tugging her further into the garden. They slowly walk among the greenery, their hands linked, their shoulders brushing, until they reach a solitary park bench overlooking some rose bushes. A plaque is fixed to the bench, dedicating it to “June, who loved this garden and the roses - from Joseph, who always sat beside her.” Bernie lets her fingers glide almost reverentially over the plate.

“To think that there are people spending their whole life together,” she muses.

Serena doesn’t say a word, just squeezes Bernie’s hand. Their eyes meet and there’s this connection between them that Serena doesn’t feel brave enough to put a name to for now. She lays her hand on Bernie’s cheek and traces her cheekbone with two fingers, gliding down to her lips. Bernie places a kiss on them the moment they are in reach for her. Serena feels herself once more being tucked against the other woman’s body and loses herself in this glorious feeling again. They stay there, beside the bench dedicated to a love spanning decades, for quite some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to @ukulelefoot for her excellent grammar and editing skills! Also thanks to everyone reading, leaving kudos and commenting. :) Seeing this being read and liked makes me feel very happy.


	10. The advantages of being a star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their first date practically ended with Serena and Bernie breaking and entering into a private garden (totally worth the risk!), they mutually decide on a more legal, but still private enough second date. They will meet at a small Italian restaurant, tucked away on a quiet neighbourhood street... hopefully with an extensive wine list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back - I made it! :D I had a bit of a day and also this has been a bit of a chapter. Glad this is going online now!
> 
> I changed the rating to Teen because of some explicit language, but that’s about as raunchy as it gets for now. ;)

The next evening finds Serena in a hurry. Again. Even though Jason assured her that he would be fine on his own, she fretted a bit about him warming up his meal and being on his own for the whole evening and now she is in an awful rush. She flits around the house, getting more nervous by the minute and by the time she is finally ready - the new dress on, her make-up as perfect as possible - she is brimming with anticipation.

The moment she enters the living room to say goodbye, Jason stops the latest Mary Beard documentary he is currently watching and gives her a calculating look.

”Your lipstick is very gaudy, Auntie Serena. And your dress seems to be awfully clingy. Do you feel comfortable in it?” he asks.

”I did until about thirty seconds ago,” Serena answers wryly, wondering if there is still time for her to change into something less... clingy, more demure. Unfortunately, there isn’t and she has to go like this or not at all - the latter of which isn’t really an option in her mind. She practically runs out of the house after leaving Jason with some last minute instructions to call her any time if something is bothering him, only to find herself being whisked away by the taxi waiting for her.

The address Bernie gave her belongs to a small Italian restaurant, tucked into the corner of a quiet neighbourhood street. She enters the restaurant to find Bernie already occupying a table at the back of the room, menu in hand.

”I’m sorry I’m late,” she says instead of a greeting, already seated by the time Bernie seems to be able to move again after laying eyes on her.

”You aren’t.” Bernie gives her an appraising look and a dazzling smile. “I managed to slip away early and I didn't want to wait in front of the restaurant. I didn’t want someone to recognise me and eat into my time with you.”

Serena smiles wickedly.

“Speaking of eating…” she says, a twinkle in her eye.

It takes Bernie a moment to pick up on the innuendo, but as soon as her eyes widen, Serena picks up her menu.

“Shall we?”

The evening is flying by - their conversation flows freely, their meal is excellent and the wine... The wine is something Serena probably won't forget anytime soon. It is only topped by the radiant beauty of the woman in front of her.

“The blonde, the leggy one… What's her name?”

“Berenice Wolfe!”

Suddenly the conversation at a table around the corner of theirs becomes a bit raucous and they pause their conversation when they notice Bernie's name being mentioned

“Her last film sure was something. Can't wait to see it again!”

Serena raises an appraising eyebrow at Bernie, who shakes her head self-consciously and lets her fringe fall into her face as if to hide from that unexpected compliment.

“Ha! Probably can't wait to wank to it again,” another man chimes in, and the group breaks into laughter.

“Oh, shut up, she's way too old. And too flat-chested. There's a ton of actresses better looking than her.” This voice comes with an obvious sneer.

Serena's eyes darken at that. Bernie still has her head down, but her shoulders are tense now, her whole posture far from how relaxed as she was before.

“To be fair, I wouldn't mind getting my hands on her tits, though. I mean, that one scene she did? Being fucked up against a wall? Fancy doing that for real."

Blood rushes through Serena's ears. She looks at Bernie, who seems to shrink in on herself, probably wishing to be anywhere else but here. Those men are fast ruining their evening and with them speaking so inappropriately about the woman Serena is coming to like more and more - she is in full-on war mode now.

“Ok, that's it,” she says darkly, throwing her napkin on the desk like a gauntlet. Bernie looks up at her, visibly alarmed.

“What are you doing?” She reaches for Serena’s arm, but fails to hold her back..

“I’m going to put a stop to this! Who do they think they are, to talk about you like that?” And with this, she walks briskly around the corner towards the offending group.

They are laughing, but stop when Serena approaches their table.

“Hel-lo…” One of them practically leers at her, making her bristle even more. “How may we help you, darling?”

“By shutting your mouth. Or at least by changing the subject and letting other people have their dinner in peace and quiet.” Serena gives him her best death-stare. “Who do you think you are, speaking about a woman in public like that?” She tries to keep her voice down, but her mind is spinning.

“What’s it to you, love? Envious? Come sit down with us. We’ll stop talking about other women and show you a good time,” another of them chimes in.

“I’d rather wash today’s dishes in the kitchen, thank you. You are vile, sexist, egotistical little...” A hand grabs onto her upper arm, whipping her away from the group. She wants to turn back, but Bernie keeps steering her away with astonishing strength.

“I hadn't finished!” Serena huffs at her once they’re out of earshot and Bernie’s stopped them by their table, noticing how the other woman is still keeping her head down to avoid being recognised.

“I figured. Believe me, I'm thankful for you trying to talk some sense into them, but people like them won’t change.” Hidden behind strands of hair, Serena can see the resignation on Bernie’s face.

“So you let them badmouth you and just… take it as part of your life?” Serena can't get her head around this. Suddenly Bernie doesn't seem as confident as she thought her to be.

“When I was younger, I might have been brave enough to confront them, but…” Bernie just shrugs her shoulders and goes to leave the restaurant, but stops abruptly. She looks up at Serena and back at the table of men. They seem to have already forgotten about Serena's unexpected wrath. Suddenly she feels angry. Angry because they continue to have their fun evening out while theirs has been cut short due to their neandertal behaviour.

"Would you please excuse me for a moment?" Bernie gives Serena's arm a gentle squeeze and turns back towards the table.

Her head held high and her confident posture suitable for a red carpet event, she approaches the rowdy men.

“Hi!” she starts, a false smile plastered on her face.

They turn towards her and manage - simultaneously, almost comically - to freeze.

“I’d like to apologise for my friend.”

“Oh my God,” comes the pained groan of the guy who started the whole thing off.

“She's not in the business and still a bit sensitive.” Bernie just goes on, smiling at every single one of them as if they actually were worth her time.

"What… No, uh - Look, I'm sorry, we shouldn't have…" Another one pipes up and Bernie suddenly has to fight the urge to empty the bottle of wine on the table over his head.

"Ah, stop it, please. Water under the bridge. I know how things are for you guys. I mean, let's face it - it's Friday evening and you’re winding down after a long week’s work. Some bro time, right? No women in sight. Complete lack of opportunity can make men feel a bit… bitter towards women. You probably all think that you could show any woman a good time if only… if only you got the opportunity to talk to a real, live one. If they wouldn't just ignore you. So you sit here in a restaurant, comparing your paltry achievements on the path to finally meeting and being with a woman. It’s a lot safer to fantasise about someone who is unapproachable, of course. Not your fault, is it? Well… just keep on. Enjoy your meal and the company of each other. Might be the only company you might have for quite some time." And with this, Bernie turns away from the table, grabs Serena’s arm, and walks them out of the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. finished. the. restaurant. scene! Only took me about a dozen drafts and three nervous breakdowns.
> 
> Special thanks to @ukulelefoot for not only contributing her amazing betaing skills this time, but also some parts of this chapter! :)
> 
> I hope everything has worked out fine! I'd love to get some feedback for this.
> 
> Heads up for next week: I'm actually traveling to Italy on Saturday. I'll take my laptop, but I can't promise to be able to update next week. I might be a bit too distracted by all the food. ;) I'll do my best, that much I can promise.


	11. To wear mask after mask the whole time...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having their second date and enjoyable meal at a restaurant blatantly disturbed by rude guys at a table near theirs, both Serena and Bernie lashed out and gave them stern dressing-downs. Not caring to go back to their meal, they leave the restaurant, but are reluctant to say goodbye to each other yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! :) I've raised the chapter numbers - 18 was an estimate that I won't be able to keep. Let's see how 22 will work out. ^^ 
> 
> I also decided to use the chapter summary field for the chapter summary and not the author's notes... how about that?! :D
> 
> To all of you who don't know the film "Notting Hill" - my apologies for the upcoming chapters. Be assured that all's well that ends well.
> 
> Thanks to @ukulelefoot for her excellent betaing skills & a nod to @lapal for her enthusiastic, but also patient waiting. I would have given my best to find a way to post this from the abandoned villa in Italy if necessary! ;)

Serena waits until they can't be seen from inside the restaurant anymore until she dissolves into laughter. She has to hold onto Bernie to not fall over. Not that she really minds to hold onto Bernie, not matter the reason.

"Goodness, you killed them." she finally manages to gasp. The blonde, keeping her steady by holding onto her arm, just snorts at this.

"I might regret this. I didn't see any mobiles, but really - if someone took a video of this, I'll never live this down."

"I don't think that someone did. The guys were too busy staring at you and everyone else minded their own business. I think it did you good to let off a bit of steam! Go for it, don't let people talk bad about you!" Bernie just groans at Serena's words. 

"I'm not rash! I'm careful and I keep my thoughts and emotions to myself and… and… what am I even doing with you, Serena?" Bernie grabs hold of Serena's waist and pulls her towards herself. 

"I'm afraid I don't know." Serena feels clueless, lacking the sense of direction her life normally has. Her hand comes up to trail along Bernie's shoulder, catching the lapel of her coat between her fingers. Her eyes fall on Bernie's lips, but the moment she makes a move to kiss her, the blonde takes a small step away from her and lets her hand go after giving it a small squeeze.

"We can't. Not here. Although I want to, you know. Desperately." Bernie drags her hands through her hair. She starts to walk again, Serena walking by her side. "Why am I like this when I'm with you?"

"I don't know that either." Serena gives her a sideways smile and raises an eyebrow. "Must be my irresistible charm."

"Ha! Has to be…"

They round the corner and the entrance to Bernie's hotel comes in sight. They stop again and face each other, both of them trying not to show how nervous they suddenly feel.

"Here we are." Bernie turns towards the brightly lit hotel with a contemplating look. Suddenly she turns back towards Serena, a new kind of resolve showing on her face. "Do you want to come up?"

"There seems to be a lot of reasons why I shouldn't." Serena tries her best to not lose herself in fantasies of what might happen if she accompanies Bernie up to her room.

"Lots of reasons." Bernie nods in agreement. "Do you want to come up?" Their eyes lock and the chemistry between them thickens the air.

"Yes, I'd like to come up, Bernie." Serena finally answers, letting go of her concerns.

"Give me five minutes, ok? My room number is 803." Bernie once more squeezes Serena's hand and then turns around and walks into the hotel, the concierge opening the door for her and greeting her with a smile.

Five minutes start to feel like an eternity, but finally Serena makes her way through the hotel's lobby and takes the lift up to the eighth floor. She arrives at Bernie's door feeling nervous, but determined. She knocks on the door and, a few seconds later, Bernie opens it.

Serena takes one look at her and her smile falters. The blonde looks stressed.

"Serena…" She even sounds stressed.

Serena makes a move to lay her hand on the other woman's shoulder, wonders why the mood has suddenly changed. The blonde takes a step back and turns towards the hotel suite, listening to something inside.

"You have to go." Bernie turns back towards Serena, her face a curious mixtures of regret and… fear? Serena feels startled. This is most certainly not how she expected their evening to end.

"Why? What happened?" She won't be turned away that easily.

"My partner is here. I didn't expect him to be here. He should be back in the US. But he's here."

"Your… what??" Serena desperately hopes that she misheard.

"Marcus… my partner. He… and I… we… the press… I have to… you know, I can't…" and while Bernie rambles on, a man appears behind her.

Serena thinks she knows his face, but can't place a name, doesn't care to know who he is right now and definitely wouldn't even mind for him to cease to exist completely. He's mildly handsome, dark haired and has a stocky build, but can't hold a candle to Bernie. Bernie, who looks at Serena like a rabbit caught in the headlines of a rapidly approaching lorry.

"Honey, who's this?" He seems to be in the process of undressing, currently unbuttons his shirt, and Serena suddenly feels sick to her stomach.

"She's one of the studio's new assistants." Bernie blurts out, her eyes still fixed on Serena's face.

"Oh… hi-ya, then. Don't keep her too long. I just spent an awful lot of time on a plane just to see her, so I don't want her to waste anymore time on work, ok?"

Serena just nods curtly, her eyes darting between Bernie and him.

"Still new to the job and a bit star struck?" He gives her a presumptions smile. "You'll get used to the likes of me being around your place of work soon. I won't hold it against you for now." He winks at her and ambles out of the room.

Serena harrumphs at his retreating back and fixes Bernie with a stare.

"When exactly did you plan on telling me that you already are in a relationship?" She feels rightful anger rising through her body and continues to hiss at the woman in front of her. "Probably not before we've fallen into bed together as far as I can tell from your behaviour. Right after, maybe?" 

"Serena… " Bernie still seems to be struggling to find the right words. As if there even are right words for a situation as messed up as theirs right now, Serena thinks with a sinking heart.

“He is… I am… goodness… he is my partner, officially, yes, because I… I can’t just… with the studios… ” Bernie stops talking and just looks at Serena. Sees the pain she caused, the betrayal. She stops and sighs. “I’m sorry, Serena. I didn't plan for this to happen. I don’t know what to say.”

“Goodbye, seems to be sufficient.” Serena can’t stand to stay around anymore and turns away from this disaster. Everything hurts and she just wants to get out of here, out of this damn hotel, as far away from Berenice Bloody Wolfe as possible. Away from someone who almost made her do something she could never do. Something she promised herself never to do after all the heartbreak Edward had caused her with his affairs. You don’t have sex with people who are in a committed relationship. You don’t have an affair, you don’t betray someone else. She hears Bernie calling her name, but keeps on going, rounds the corner and makes her way out of the hotel as fast as she can. Finds herself on the tube. Makes her way towards home, still in a daze.

Jason is in his room, too absorbed in watching tv to notice his aunt coming back home. Serena is glad that he doesn't come out of his room, would not want her nephew to see her like this - all tied up in knots over some woman, some actress she should never have invited into her life. She goes into the kitchen and fetches herself a bottle of wine. Drinks the whole bottle, sitting in her favourite armchair, feeling hurt, sad and confused. Finally makes her way to the bedroom, but finds herself unable to sleep, even with the amount of alcohol she had. She just lies there, eyes open, her mind miles away, until the small hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I caught a bit of the multiple wips bug (how did this happen?) - suddenly there's a Halloween one-shot popping into my mind out of nowhere and I'm thinking about taking part in the Secret Santa exchange if I can come up with a prompt. ^^
> 
> Fortunately the next three chapters for this are written and I'm also onto the chapters after that.
> 
> Hope you liked this one, even though it ended on a sad note. Again my apologies to those unsuspecting.


	12. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having been deeply hurt by Bernie not telling her the truth about being in a relationship, Serena left the other woman standing in the door of her hotel room and just fled as fast as she could. Berating herself for even falling for the famous actress, who obviously just acts like she wants to without the slightest regard to anyone else's feelings, Serena tries to go on with her life and forget about what almost could have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi... today's chapter is a bit on the short side, but the upcoming ones during the next weeks won't be. :)
> 
> Thanks to my beta @ukulelefoot for her help!

Time passes. The weeks flow along Portobello Road, dragging spring and summer with them into autumn. While life goes on around her, neighbour's kids being born, lovers coming together and breaking up again in the middle of Portobello Road Market, the leaves on the trees turning from green to yellow and red before silently falling onto the road, Serena just goes through her days without taking notice. She diverts all the energy she has left between her shop and Jason, retreats into a kind of shell in all other aspects. She doesn't smile so much anymore, doesn't chat, doesn't engage with her friends. One day, she finds herself buying a ticket for Bernie’s latest movie. She sits far away from other patrons. It is a mad idea, to look at Bernie for almost two hours. To see her smile, laugh, kiss someone. She goes home feeling broken and, after a few words exchanged with Jason, goes straight into her room and cries. Cries and cries, so much so that her sheets are soaked, her voice feels raw and her heart finally, finally just feels numb. Then she sleeps, dreamlessly, until the next morning.

Which is when she finds her kitchen full of people. Luckily she has found the energy to shower and look as presentable as she manages to look these days. She initially comes down in need of coffee and is confronted with Jason, Raf, Fletch, Fleur, Sacha and Morven. They all look at her gravely and for a moment she wonders if someone died.

“Serena,” Raf starts to speak, “this is an intervention.”

Morven steals his thunder a bit by handing Serena a fresh cup of coffee. She smiles at the young woman. Settles herself against the wall, the coffee cup cradled in both hands. She eyes her friends, wary of things to come, but sees only love, empathy and more than a bit of sorrow etched into the faces before her.

“You can’t go on like this, Serena. As lovely as this bloody woman has been, you can’t put your life in the freezer for her. Getting together with Berenice Wolfe might have been a wonderful and engaging dream, but a dream nevertheless. You have to get back to living your life now.” Fletch gives her an apologetic smile.

“You’ve got to move on, love! Who needs some actress to pine over? Go, get yourself a distraction! There’s plenty of fish left in the pond. ” Fleur speech is oh so typical for her, Serena just snorts.

“I’m absolutely with Fleur, dear,” Raf starts up again. “You see, there’s this guy I know from work, who might interest you… not a film star, though, but he seems to be a decent enough bloke. Told me he has been single for too long now and wouldn't be opposed to get to know someone special again. How about we arrange dinner at ours for the four of us? See how it goes? Dip your toe back into the pond, so to speak? Maybe forget about women for a while and see what this guy has to offer?” All of them nod at this suggestion, all except Jason.

“What about you, Jason? I mean, I do have to apologise to you most of all. Seeing that you had to bear the brunt of me moping around these last few months. What do you think I should do?”

“You are obviously still quite sad, Auntie Serena, but not as sad as you were right after Bernie didn’t treat you right. I think you should have dinner with Raf’s friend. It might cheer you up. You should also take more walks. Taking a walk improves one’s mood and gives one a chance to think about all that is happening while getting some fresh air.”

Serena nods at this and gives Jason a small smile. “Thank you, dear. You’re right. I've hung around the house too much, I should start to get out a bit more again.” She looks at Raf. “Let me know the date. I’ll give this friend of yours the onceover, provided the dinner is edible and there’s a bottle of wine with my name on it.”

Raf and Fletch beam at each other, clearly relieved to have managed this with almost no resistance coming from Serena.

“I’ll do my best!” Fletch promises and they all groan good naturedly at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Notting Hill scene in which William walks along Portobello Road to the song "Ain't not sunshine" while the seasons change around him is one of my favourite scenes ever. Lovers come together and break up again, a pregnant woman passes him by at one point, only to be seen carrying her child in her arms later on, the vegetables sold at the stands change, the sun shines and after a while snow falls and then the sun is back again, but he is just oblivious to it all. Until the end, when he finally arrives back home and you can see that time might not heal all wounds, but it definitely makes them hurt less.
> 
> Thanks again for joining me on this fictional journey, for giving kudos and commenting - you are highly appreciated! :)


	13. To thine own self be through...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After promising her friends to stop moping about months after the whole disaster with Bernie Wolfe, Serena gets ready to go out on a first date. A simple dinner with one of Raf's work acquaintances at their house - what could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi and welcome back. :) Hope you all had a lovely weekend and will enjoy another chapter of this.

Raf being true to his promise, Serena finds herself in Raf's and Fletch's kitchen again. She tries hard not to think about the last time she had dinner at theirs. Tries not to think of Bernie, eating and drinking wine and smiling at her while their legs touch. Tries to concentrate on stirring the pasta sauce simmering in front of her.

Fletch smiles at her and nudges her shoulder.  
"Don't fret, Campbell. It's only pasta and even I can't make that much of a mess of a simple pasta dish!" He has to know that she's not really down due to their meal, but is merely giving her the chance to save face.

Serena feels inexplicably nervous - it's just dinner, after all. With friends, no less. Not overly romantic and no need for her to marry the guy Raf has come up with to be her date - who's late, she notices with a look at the kitchen clock over the door.

There's a knock on the door and Raf shouts from the sitting room that he’ll get it. Fletch exchanges another look with her and gently pries the spoon from Serena's fingers.

"Come on, don't accidently spill half the sauce upon yourself. Don't think I'd let you get out of this because you’re covered in pasta sauce - I'd just give you some of Raf's trackies and a t-shirt and you’d have to make do with that."

She manages a smile at the thought and gently squeezes Fletch's shoulder.

"Thank you," she just says.

"You're very welcome," Fletch answers, with another fond smile and a pat on her arm. "Now go and meet this man. Shoulders up, head high, Campbell. You're a prize."

Serena goes into the sitting room, where a male voice can be heard loudly complaining about the lack of parking space in the neighborhood. The voice belongs to a man standing in front of Raf, clearly agitated.

"Thirty minutes! Thirty minutes I spent searching for adequate parking around here. Don't you get mad, doing this every day?"

"I thought you only live a fifteen minutes walk away from us, why - " Raf starts to answer, but stops the moment he sees Serena enter the room. "There you are, dear! Serena, meet Robbie - Robbie, this is Serena. We've known each other for decades now and she's one of our dearest friends."

Robbie turns around and looks Serena up and down, before he offers to shake her hand. He's a nice looking guy - if a bit bland -, but his judging look makes Serena feel like being part of a cattle show and does nothing to ease her mind about this date. His handshake is nice enough, though, and his smile seems genuine.

"Hello, Serena. Nice to finally meet you - Raf told me a lot about you." He winks at her and Serena immediately wonders if Raf told him about her foolishness in regards to Bernie.

After the three of them made some small talk, Fletch announces that dinner is ready and they sit down to share the meal - which is surprisingly tasty, if simple. There's spaghetti tossed in a spicy tomato sauce, fresh bread with an olive paste and herbs and a rucola salad with a lemony dressing, mixed with some more olives, a mild white cheese and pine nuts.

Robbie clearly struggles with the spaghetti, finally cuts them into smaller bits and uses a spoon to eat them. Raf's face is a picture of indignance and Serena barely manages to conceal her laughter with a fake cough into her napkin.

Throughout the meal, Robbie talks and talks and talks. About his work as an administrator, about his never ending workload of clearing papers,about his boss not appreciating him enough, about wanting that promotion for years now, but being ignored again and again.  
Serena feels like she might fall asleep any minute now. Every single attempt of steering their conversation - well, actually, Robbie's monologue - into another, preferably more entertaining direction, falls flat. Suddenly she perks up, because there seems to be a change of topic, at least if not of speaker.

"... two years now. She actually came back after a few weeks and begged me to take her back, but it was all her fault and I couldn't let her walk all over me like that, could I?" Robbie huffs at Raf and Fletch. "A guy has to keep his pride in my opinion." Not noticing the disapproving reaction of the other men at his statement, Robbie continues to delve into the topic of relationships.

"I mean, I do have my share of fun, don't get me wrong… " He gives Serena another wink at that, but turns back towards Raf without noticing her raised eyebrow. "But you must know what I mean, Raf. We've known each other through work now for… what, a year? And you've been single the whole time, too. You don't even seem to try to change this. It's always, ‘Oh I’d better go home now, Fletch is waiting’ or ‘Fletch has made dinner’. I mean, friendship is a great thing, but don't you miss being in a relationship sometimes? To come home to a woman, dinner on the table and ‘how’s your day been, darling?’."

Raf almost chokes on the mouthful of salad he was unfortunate enough to try and eat at that moment. Fletch starts to pat him on the back, while staring at their dinner guest, dumbfounded. Serena almost laughs - surely, he can't… ? And his description of a relationship on top of that!

"Och, what exactly makes you think I'm single?!" Raf finally manages to speak again. He grabs at Fletch's hand, intertwining their fingers as if to make a statement.

"Let me assure you, he isn't," Fletch says very matter of factly, giving Raf a fond, but also exasperated smile.

"We've been together for over a decade now, Fletch and I." Raf seems to have reached his last straw.

“Wait, you’re gay?!” Robbie's eyes widen almost comically and he looks warily at both men.

“Of course we are! I have told you about Fletch.” Raf huffs, shaking his head.

“I thought you were roommates!” he exclaims, clearly distressed by his sudden realisation. "Do the other guys at work know?"

“Why is that even relevant to you? Don't you even think about telling anyone! Not that we mind people knowing, it’s just not up to you to do this. I bet Raf doesn’t go around speaking to other people about your private life, does he? ” Fletch’s hackles are clearly risen.

“Well, he can if he wants to. I’m straight!” he turns to Serena and winks at her once again.

“I’m not.” Serena deadpans. Robbie gapes at her.

His reaction suits her fine, because she’s no longer interested in hearing even one more word uttered by this sorry excuse of a man. She swears to spend her days in the sole company of her trusty vibrators before even thinking about someone like him at her side. No amount of good sex (and even that seems to be doubtful) could compensate for such intolerance and idiocy.

“In fact, I’m bisexual, but right now I'm considering swearing off men for a while. If you wonder why, I recommend you go and search for a mirror.”

Fletch snorts and Raf just stares at the both of them, clearly deeply regretting his choice of dinner companion for Serena right now. Having made an unspoken agreement to skip dessert, Robbie is eager to make his excuses with a mumbled apology of having forgotten that he has an early day tomorrow.

After he leaves, the three friends sit down on the sofas, three slices of tiramisu and a new bottle of wine within reach. They just look at each other and then burst out laughing.

"How could he not..." Raf can't manage to finish his sentence.

"The question is, how could you, dear?" Fletch gives him a fond rap on the head. "I mean, poor Serena. How could you have thought that this guy would be a good match for her?" He pours wine for them.

"I honestly don't know anymore. He seemed like a nice guy at work, but our contact is a bit limited and obviously I failed to notice any red flags." Raf grabs onto his glass while giving Serena a most apologetic look. "I'm very, very sorry dear."

Serena shakes her head at him and takes a sip of her wine. "Coming home after a long day at the office for dinner and some undivided attention. Honestly?"

"Well at least now we all know who's never again going to pick out a date for any of our friends." Fletch raises his eyebrow at Raf, who still looks more than a bit crestfallen. "You know, let's just focus on the good parts. We had a lovely meal and we still have wine and dessert to sweeten up the rest of our evening now that it’s just us again. Let's toast to friendship and forget about everything else that happened."

Serena doesn't feel sad or gutted that things didn't work out. She's happy with the way things are right now, well, at least as happy as she can be while still being a bit hung up on Bernie and so she's determined to end this disastrous evening on a high note with her closest friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You want to know if I can stand a character or not? Writing them unable to eat Spaghetti is a kind of broad hint that I think they're daft.
> 
> In regards to the "swearing off men"... please take this sentiment with a pinch of salt.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed reading this and you agree with me that Serena can do much better! :)
> 
> Comments are always welcome - either here or on Tumblr @batnbreakfast.


	14. To love and be loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a disastrous first and also last date with one of Raf's colleagues, Serena feels like she's safe for having to go on any more dates for now. Unfortunately her friends don't agree and so she has to go through the whole ordeal again. And again. And... no, stop. All good things come by threes, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome... it's another chapter of Notting Hill! Thanks to @ukulelefoot for betaing this even if time is scarce - highly appreciated!
> 
> I actually watched the film again today - for about the one hundred and twenty seventh time and I realised two things:
> 
> \- I would like it way better now with Catherine and Jemma playing the main characters. What have I done?
> 
> \- I actually misplaced the Portobello Road Market scene. In the film it's yet to come. You may imagine me making a very distressed noice when I realised. Thanks for not roasting me if you noticed!

The second date isn’t even worth dwelling on for another ten minutes after it ends. The man - a friend of a friend of Sacha’s - is so completely bland that Serena can’t find a positive or even one negative thing to say about him. She smiles and nods and laughs through their dinner, but sheds their encounter like an unwanted coat the minute they say goodbye to each other in front of the restaurant.

She comes home to find Jason still perched in front of the tv, watching a Mary Beard documentary about a castle. He even stops the program to give her the chance to tell him about her evening, but she just shrugs her shoulders and sits down on the couch to watch the rest with him.

A few weeks pass, thankfully undisturbed by any of her friends trying to palm their acquaintances off onto her. She almost feels like she is able to sink back into her routine again - minding the shop, minding Jason, minding her own business.

If not for Morven, she would have thought that she’d finally managed to get over the dating part of her life for now.

“I know Fletch said to try dating men for now, but really, she’s great! Funny, outspoken and well, I met her at yoga, so…” Morven actually blushes a bit at the last part and Serena can’t help but smile at her.

“I sincerely hope that you don’t want me to accompany you to yoga?” Serena shudders a bit at the thought. Surely there has to be a better way for her to meet other people. A wine club, maybe?

“No! No, not at all. I mean, not that I think that you wouldn’t be able to keep up with…“ Morven gets a bit flustered and stops talking mid-sentence.

“It’s ok, dear! I'm aware of my abilities - or inability in this case. So… this woman?”

“Amy.” Morven interjects.

“Amy. Is she… more of your age or more of mine?”

“Oh. Oh, more of yours, certainly.”

Morven looks at her like a puppy bringing the ball back to his owner for the very first time. Serena can't bring herself to dash the young woman's hopes and decides that a third date hopefully won't hurt.

“Red ok for you, dear?” Fletch gestures towards Amy with the bottle of wine he just used to top Serena’s glass off.

“Just some water, please. I don’t drink.”

Serena eyes widen and she just stares at the other woman wordlessly.

“I’m a Buddhist, you know. Vowed not to influence my mind with fermented drinks, so no alcohol, no coffee and only herbal teas for me.” She smiles at Serena and chooses to either ignore or not care for the raised eyebrow she gets as an answer.

“No coffee. No wine.” Serena tries to wrap her mind around this. “Never?”

“Never ever. Stopped four years ago when I stayed at a wat for an extended time.” Noticing the blank faces, she quickly adds, “A Buddhist monastery.”

“A monastery.” Serena tries to get back on track with the conversation. “Sounds like you take this very seriously?”

“I do. Changed my whole life for the better.”

“Well, good for you!” Serena genuinely smiles at her. She actually feels relieved. Amy seems to be a lovely woman, but somewhere deep inside Serena just knows that she can’t be with someone right now. Sure Fletch and Raf would understand her not going on a second date with a Buddhist teetotaler. No need to delve into further reasons. With this thought, she turns back to the conversation and manages to actually enjoy the whole dinner.

After having said goodbye to Amy at the door - no hallway kiss included - Serena turns back into Fletch and Raf’s living room. She drops onto one of their sofas and gives both of her friends a contemplating look.

“Do you guys know how lucky you are? I mean, think about it. You found each other. This city alone houses millions of people and you two managed to find each other. Marvellous, isn’t it?”

Fletch and Raf share a fond look, before Fletch takes the lead.

“We know, love. We’re very lucky. We’ll never take this for granted, for sure.”

“Unbelievably lucky bastards, you mean?” Serena chuckles. “You’re my best friends and I love you both, but really, Raf… you should have given us a chance! I think we could have made it work.” She sighs and lets her head fall back. “I’m tired of dating. I just want to love and be loved.”

“We do love you, you know that - don’t you?” Raf says fondly.

Serena raises her head and smiles.

“I know. I know, dear. But unfortunately you love me in a very non-passionate way.” She lets her head fall back again. “What I wouldn’t give for some raw, sweaty, unadulterated, vigorous passion to take my mind off things.”

“Well, for that, dear, you should probably ask Fleur to take you with her to her usual hunting grounds. I don’t think we can be of much help with that.” Fletch offers as a solution. “But be careful, she might make you dance on a table in a seedy bar with her, half naked.”

“Wouldn't that be something?” Serena muses, almost half asleep now.

“You wanna stay here tonight? No need for you to get up right now. I’ll even make breakfast tomorrow.” Raf gets up to fetch a blanket and some pillows.

“I’d love to.” Serena doesn’t want to go home. Doesn’t want to be alone right now. Wants to stay here, in the company of her best friends - a close second to being in the company of the woman she lost her heart to. Bernie… Bernie probably has forgotten her by now. No need for her to hang on to a short fling, a slight disturbance in her otherwise perfect life. Serena wishes she could let go that easily, but it is painfully clear that she can’t. So she finally falls asleep on her friends’ couch, thinking of blonde hair and unusual laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear that Bernie will be with us again very, very soon! Sorry for leaving her out of this story for two chapters in a row, but the script is the script is the script. ;)
> 
> I also like Serena's friends trying to get her to date other people instead of pining over a pint of ice-cream at home and Fletch and Raf playing wingmen & taking care of Serena.
> 
> At least this date was more enjoyable than the last one.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter even without Bernie for now - thanks to all who commented during the last week! Your comments are such a treat. :)


	15. Suddenly you're standing there in front of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enough is enough. After her latest failed date, Serena decides that she needs a change of plans. Regardless of what her friends asked her to do, she can't go on any more dates while she is still harbouring feelings for Bernie. Of course the blonde actress is out of her life for good, so Jason and her shop will have to become her sole focus for now. Determined to start making changes right now, little does Serena know that she will be in for a surprise today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello & welcome - no more dates, I promise! It was fun while it lasted, but really, I can't put Serena through another one of those affairs. ^^
> 
> Have fun reading!

The next morning Serena vows to spend plenty of time with Jason this weekend. Maybe he’ll want to go and visit a museum. It’s been some time since they last went to the Horniman or the Grant. They could make plans for Sunday.

She returns home shortly before him and is happy to hear him talk about his friend's new Lego set that the both of them started to assemble yesterday. They sit at their kitchen table and start to make plans when there’s a knock on the front door.

Earning just a shrug from Jason, Serena goes to open the door to… Bernie. Bernie, looking haggard and haunted, wearing a coat with the collar turned up and dark sunglasses to further hide her face. Serena just stares at the blonde, unable to process and find words apt for this situation.

“May I come in, Serena? Please?”

She just nods and steps aside. Feels like she has gone back in time when the door closes behind Bernie and they find themselves face to face again in the hallway.

Bernie looks incredibly nervous, wrings her hands and looks at a seemingly interesting spot on the hardwood floor. Suddenly she raises her head and takes off her sunglasses. Her eyes are bloodshot and red-rimmed.

"I'm sorry to impose myself on you so unexpected. I didn't know what to do. The reporters are all over the hotel and I had to get out before I broke down completely. It's chaos. They tried to follow, but fortunately I managed to get rid of them and then I found myself here and… you can tell me to go if that's what you want, Serena." Her pleading look betrays her words a bit, but nevertheless Serena feels sure that Bernie would actually go if she tells her so.

"Why are you here?" Serena tries to make sense of the stilted report Bernie gave, but can't tell what caused the obvious mayhem the other woman found herself in.

"Didn't have a look at the papers lately, did you?" Bernie sighs and rubs her face.

"Actually, no. No, I didn't."

"They… found some pictures. Of me. Well, they didn’t find- Someone gave them to the press. Made themselves quite a bit of money, I guess. Can't trust anyone nowadays." Bernie voice trails off.

"What kind of pictures, Bernie?" Serena wonders if she really wants to know, but can't help asking.

"Not ones for the family album, I guess." The other woman leans her head back and and slumps against the hallway wall. She looks tired.

"Oh," is all Serena finds herself able to say. Just stands there, unsure what to say or do next.  
"Hello Bernie," Jason suddenly enters the hallway. "Why are you both standing in the hallway? There are perfectly fine chairs in the kitchen. Do you want some tea, Bernie?"

Bernie opens her eyes and just looks at Serena, probably waiting for her to decide first. She gives her a small nod and Bernie gives Jason a faint smile. "A cup of tea would be good."

"About the pictures…" They hadn't picked up on the topic again while they had tea with Jason. He had been very understanding about the necessary change of their weekend plans, and after a while had decided to go to his chess club and spend some time with friends. Although Serena didn't want to press Bernie on the topic, she felt like she needed to know why the other woman suddenly stood on her doorstep.

Bernie sighs and lets her hair fall into her face as if to hide herself away from Serena. After a few moments of silence that seem to stretch and wrap themselves around them, she finally raises her voice.

"I was in love. Stupidly in love. For the first time in my life. I should never have consented, but at that time, I was just… " She falls silent again for a while. "We took the pictures one afternoon. Pictures of both of us, pictures of me, pictures of..."

Serena couldn't hold back anymore. "And he sold them to the press? How dare he?"

Bernie looks up at her, but lets her gaze slide away once more. "She. She sold them to the press, or gave them to someone who sold them. I don't know. Of course only the ones where she isn't identifiable went public. It is still very clear that I'm not sharing my bed with a man, though."

For the second time this afternoon, Serena doesn't really know what to say. She reaches over and gives Bernie's hand a hopefully reassuring squeeze. Her hand is cold and so Serena keeps holding on, gently rubbing circles with her thumb.

"Marcus left me in a fit of rage. Told me that he finally realised why I had always been so cold and indifferent towards him. Can't blame him, although I would have preferred it if he hadn't told every journalist interested almost every sordid detail of our sex life. So that adds to the tally, too."

"I knew he was a prick." Serena remembers Marcus - condescending Marcus - and with this she also remembers Bernie's betrayal and slowly unclasps their hands.

"There was a time I liked him enough, even though I already had realised that… " Bernie trails off once more, struggles to end the sentence.

"You’re a lesbian? Bisexual? Pansexual?" Serena offers.

"A lesbian," Bernie whispers.

"So what? Isn't the film business full of openly queer people nowadays? It's not the sixties anymore, isn't it?" Serena can't understand what the problem might be.

"Well, it's better nowadays, but if you are booked as a romantic lead, most of the time it’s a heterosexual romantic role, of course." Bernie looks at her. "My manager told me right at the beginning that I would lose roles, that I would never rise above doing commercial spots and bit parts if I let others know how I feel."

"And you were ok with that?"

"I was young. I wanted to be an actress so badly, against the will of my family, but I knew I had a long way to go and I needed to eat along the way. Later on it just felt like… it was too late for me to be open about myself in public. I wasn't brave enough anymore." Bernie starts to wring her hands again.

"It's ok, I understand. It's not that I was out and proud my whole life long, either." Serena shrugs. "So what happens now?"

"I don't know," Bernie looks forlorn again. "The hotel is surrounded, but I have to stay in London for another two nights. With the press like this it's going to be messy."

"You can stay here if you want." The words are out of her mouth before she has a chance to think them through.

Bernie looks at her with wide eyes. "I couldn't. I mean, the last time… We haven't spoken since… And it's bad enough that I just appeared on your doorstep unannounced. I couldn't impose on you anymore."

"Calm down, please,” Serena says gently. “You need a place to stay and I'm offering you a place to stay. You can have my bedroom and I'll take the couch. It's just two nights and we'll be fine. We are adults after all, aren't we?" Serena speaks with more confidence than she feels, but apparently Bernie isn't the only actress around, because the other woman doesn't seem to catch on and smiles at her in relief.

"Thank you for your help, Serena. Really."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and our lovely ladies reunion, even though the reason is rather unpleasant! Poor Bernie, having her trust betrayed like this!! I'm actually very glad that she's back at Serena's house. For two nights. Hmmm...
> 
> While you might still be in a good mood, I've got to tell you that I won't post a chapter next Sunday. I'm starting a new job on Monday, so I guess I'll be more than a bit preoccupied with that for the weekend. I promise I'll be back the weekend after! :) If you are on Tumblr, drop by my blog (http://batnbreakfast.tumblr.com) - I might do a six sentence <s>Sunday</s> Friday for an upcoming chapter. ^^
> 
> Thanks to @ukulelefoot for wrangling my commas and everything else into submission! :)


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